The Great Pursuit by Tom Sharpe Read Free Book Online

Frensic.
    Geoffrey clutched at the toilet roll for support. 'Two million dollars?' he said weakly. 'You

really mean two million dollars? You're not pulling my leg?'
    'Absolute fact,' said Frensic.
    'But that's magnificent! How wonderful. You darling '
    Frensic pushed him roughly back on the seat. 'There's a snag. Two snags, to be precise.'
    'Snags? Why must there always be snags? As if life wasn't complicated enough without

snags.'
    'We had to impress him with the amount you paid for the book,' said Frensic.
    'But I hardly paid anything. In fact...'
    'Exactly, but we have had to tell him you paid fifty thousand pounds in advance and he wants

to see the contract.'
    'Fifty thousand pounds? My dear chap, we couldn't '
    'Quite,' said Frensic, 'you don't have to explain your financial situation to me. You're

in...you've got a cash-flow problem.'
    'To put it mildly,' said Geoffrey, twisting a strand of toilet paper between his fingers.
    'Which Hutchmeyer is aware of which is why he wants to see the contract.'
    'But what good is that going to do. The contract says...'
    'I have here,' said Frensic fishing in his pocket, 'another contract which will do some good

and reassure Hutchmeyer. It says you agree to pay fifty thousand...'
    'Hang on a moment,' said Geoffrey, getting to his feet, 'if you think I'm going to sign a

contract that says I'm going to pay you fifty thousand quid you're labouring under a

misapprehension. I may not be a financial wizard but I can see this one coming.'
    'All right,' said Frensic huffily and folded the contract, 'if that's the way you feel about

it bang goes the deal.'
    'What deal? You've already signed the contract for us to publish the novel.'
    'Not your deal. Hutchmeyer's. And with it goes your ten per cent of two million dollars. Now

if you want...'
    Geoffrey sat down again. 'You really mean it, don't you?' he said at last.
    'Every word,' said Frensic.
    'And you really promise that Hutchmeyer has agreed to pay this incredible sum?'
    'My word,' said Frensic with as much dignity as the bathroom allowed, 'is my bond.'
    Geoffrey looked at him sceptically. 'If what James Jamesforth says is...All right. I'm sorry.

It's just that this has come as a terrible shock. What do you want me to do?'
    'Just sign this contract and I'll write out a personal IOU for fifty thousand pounds. That

ought to be a guarantee...'
    They were interrupted by someone hammering on the door. 'Come out of there,' shouted a

Scandinavian voice, 'I know what you're doing!'
    'Oh Christ, Sven,' said Geoffrey and struggled with the lock. 'Calm yourself dearest,' he

called, 'we were just discussing business.'
    Behind him Frensic prudently armed himself with a lavatory brush.
    'Business,' yelled the Swede, 'I know your business...' The door sprang open and Sven glared

wild-eyed into the bathroom.
    'What is he doing with that brush?'
    'Now, Sven dear, do be reasonable,' said Geoffrey. But Sven hovered between tears and

violence.
    'How could you, Geoffrey, how could you?'
    'He didn't,' said Frensic vehemently.
    The Swede looked him up and down. 'And with such a horrid baggy little man too.'
    It was Frensic's turn to look wild-eyed. 'Baggy I may be,' he shouted, 'but horrid I am

not.'
    There was a moment's scuffle and Geoffrey urged the sobbing Sven down the passage. Frensic put

his weapon back in its holder and sat on the edge of the bath. By the time Geoffrey returned he

had devised new tactics.
    'Where were we?' asked Geoffrey.
    'Your petit ami was calling me a horrid baggy little man,' said Frensic.
    'My dear, I'm so sorry but really you can count yourself lucky. Last week he actually struck

someone and all the poor man had come to do was mend the bidet.'
    'Now about this contract. I'm prepared to make a further concession,' said Frensic, 'you can

have Piper's second book, Search for a Lost Childhood for a thousand pounds advance...'
    'His next novel? You mean he's working on another?'
    'Almost finished