The Hand That Feeds You by A.J. Rich Read Free Book Online Page A

thinking the crime-scene cleanup service would have removed that, too. My confusion carried over to the smile on Bennett’s face. Was that a lie? I looked at him objectively. I wanted to find a coldness that would have been a clue had I noticed it sooner, but to my dismay I saw him as I always had.
    Steven appeared in the doorway, holding up two pairs of jeans, a question on his face. “Both,” I said, feeling cowardly for remaining outside my own bedroom. Next, he brought out a short stack of textbooks. I asked him not to forget my laptop. I didn’t want to keep using his. I didn’t want Steven to discover what I planned to look up: Lovefraud.com, the first website Cilla had suggested. Then again, it might interest him as he had recently been blindsided by a new girlfriend.
    Cilla, whom I’d started seeing as an outpatient in her Upper West Side office, had given me the names of websites where I might find others who had similarly been deceived; Cilla had said it helped a number of her patients.
    I knew about these sites. I used them for my research, looking for women who seemed to fit the definition of pathological altruist. Women posted confessions: “He loves, he proposes, he gets money, he’s gone.” “Why do I feel guilty?” “Is his goal to break me?” “The only hope I have is that karma exists.” I’d never believed in pop psychology or communal “sharing.” I was a near professional in this field and felt it was beneath me. But I was desperate.
    I went into the kitchen to get water for the ficus. I passed the rattan hamper that I used for storing dog toys. I lifted the lid and saw that it was now empty. Steven must have okayed their removal by the cleaning service. I looked for the dogs’ bowls. I was also looking for spots of blood the cleaners might have missed.
    After Steven and I returned to his apartment, I pleaded exhaustion. But the moment he went to bed, I opened my laptop.
    Sociopaths make up 4 percent of the population, 12 million Americans. They are not necessarily raging criminals: most of them are charming, intelligent, and know how to mimic concern, and even love. But they lack conscience, do not feel empathy, and feel neither guilt nor shame for their behavior. They are also expert manipulators. During childhood and adolescence, 9 percent of the sociopathic population tortures or kills animals.
    Anyone studying victimology knows the DSM-5 ’s criteria for antisocial personality disorder , the clinical term for sociopaths:
    Sociopaths lie constantly.
    Sociopaths do not apologize.
    Sociopaths think the rules do not apply to them.
    Sociopaths believe that what they say becomes truth.
    The only people who tolerate sociopaths for long periods are those the sociopath is able to manipulate into doing so.
    Sociopaths do not treat pets well.
    Sociopaths almost always have affairs.
    •  •  •
    I opened Lovefraud.com. I read about a woman whose fiancé had another woman’s name tattooed on his chest. He had told her it was the name of his little sister who had died at birth. It turned out to be the name of his wife.
    Around four in the morning, reading without full comprehension, I snapped to attention.
    Posted in: Hooked by a sociopath
    by Lovefraud Reader
    June 5, 2013
    20 comments
    I met him on a dating site for Jewish singles. His first letter to me was so charming. Instead of talking about himself, he asked me questions about myself. What book would you not take to a desert island? What song makes you cry but you’re ashamed to admit it? Do you like animals more than people? Peter L. was a literary agent; he showed me his website, and I had heard of some of the writers he represented.
    I was living in Boston at the time, and he was living in Manhattan. He came to see me, never inviting me to his place. He never introduced me to any of his friends and never wanted to meet mine. He said we had so little time together he wanted to focus on me.
    When we were apart we would Skype