cocksureness irritated them. âThe wise heads have puzzled so sorely over truth because they went up into the air after it. Had they remained on the solid earth, they would have found it easily enoughâay, they would have found that they themselves were precisely testing truth with every practical act and thought of their lives.â
âThe test, the test,â Dr. Hammerfield repeated impatiently. âNever mind the preamble. Give us that which we have sought so longâthe test of truth. Give it us, and we will be as gods.â
There was an impolite and sneering scepticism in his words and manner that secretly pleased most of them at the table, though it seemed to bother Bishop Morehouse.
âDr. Jordan 8 has stated it very clearly,â Ernest said. âHis test of truth is: âWill it work? Will you trust your life to it?â â
âPish!â Dr. Hammerfield sneered. âYou have not taken Bishop Berkeley 9 into account. He has never been answered.â
âThe noblest metaphysician of them all,â Ernest laughed. âBut your example is unfortunate. As Berkeley himself attested, his metaphysics didnât work.â
Dr. Hammerfield was angry, righteously angry. It was as though he had caught Ernest in a theft or a lie.
âYoung man,â he trumpeted, âthat statement is on a par with all you have uttered to-night. It is a base and unwarranted assumption.â
âI am quite crushed,â Ernest murmured meekly. âOnly I donât know what hit me. Youâll have to put it in my hand, Doctor.â
âI will, I will,â Dr. Hammerfield spluttered. âHow do you know? You do not know that Bishop Berkeley attested that his metaphysics did not work. You have no proof. Young man, they have always worked.â
âI take it as proof that Berkeleyâs metaphysics did not work, becauseââ Ernest paused calmly for a moment. âBecause Berkeley made an invariable practice of going through doors instead of walls. Because he trusted his life to solid bread and butter and roast beef. Because he shaved himself with a razor that worked when it removed the hair from his face.â
âBut those are actual things!â Dr. Hammerfield cried. âMetaphysics is of the mind.â
âAnd they workâin the mind?â Ernest queried softly.
The other nodded.
âAnd even a multitude of angels can dance on the point of a needleâin the mind,â Ernest went on reflectively. âAnd a blubber-eating, fur-clad god can exist and workâin the mind; and there are no proofs to the contraryâin the mind. I suppose, Doctor, you live in the mind?â
âMy mind to me a kingdom is,â was the answer.
âThatâs another way of saying that you live up in the air. But you come back to earth at meal-time, I am sure, or when an earthquake happens along. Or, tell me, Doctor, do you have no apprehension in an earthquake that that incorporeal body of yours will be hit by an immaterial brick?â
Instantly, and quite unconsciously, Dr. Hammerfieldâs hand shot up to his head, where a scar disappeared under the hair. It happened that Ernest had blundered on an apposite illustration. Dr. Hammerfield had been nearly killed in the Great Earthquake 10 by a falling chimney. Everybody broke out into roars of laughter.
âWell?â Ernest asked, when the merriment had subsided. âProofs to the contrary?â
And in the silence he asked again, âWell?â Then he added, âStill well, but not so well, that argument of yours.â
But Dr. Hammerfield was temporarily crushed, and the battle raged on in new directions. On point after point, Ernest challenged the ministers. When they affirmed that they knew the working class, he told them fundamental truths about the working class that they did not know, and challenged them for disproofs. He gave them facts, always facts, checked their
Shauna Rice-Schober[thriller]