The Last Adventure of Constance Verity by A. Lee Martinez Read Free Book Online Page B

ordinary ones.”
    â€œGleaned that from the two seconds you talked to him?”
    â€œCall it intuition.”
    â€œI have intuition,” said Connie.
    â€œYou’re too close to the situation. That’s why you need to borrow mine. And I say you’ll call him.”
    Connie saluted. “Whatever you say, boss.”
    Tia offered to help Connie look, but it was better for her to avoid touching things. It took Connie ten minutes to find what she needed. The large, antique key glittered like polished silver. The True Key could open any door between worlds. It’d been sitting between the haunted skull of Marie Antoinette and that weird alien thingamabob that beeped once exactly every seventy-one hours, under the real Shroud of Turin.
    â€œAll set,” said Connie. “But first things first. If you want to come with me, you’ve got to prove you’re not dead weight.”
    â€œOkay. What do you want me to do?”
    â€œHit me.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œHit me. Take a swing.”
    Tia laughed. “I’m not going to hit you.”
    â€œI know you’re not, but if you’re going to convince me to let you tag along, I need you to try.”
    â€œWhat’s that going to prove?”
    â€œIt’ll prove you can take care of yourself. I don’t know what’saround the corner, but I can guarantee that if you can’t hit me, you can’t handle it.”
    â€œThere are more ways to handle a tricky situation than simply violence.”
    â€œThat’s what people who are wimps tell themselves so they don’t feel like wimps.”
    â€œBut you said it just the other day.”
    â€œI’m good at violence, so I can get away with it. I’m not endorsing it. I’ll always seek the nonviolent solution when I can, but sometimes, it’s not an option. Sometimes, you have to beat the shit out of a bad guy because he doesn’t give you any other choice. Now show me what you’ve got.”
    â€œI’m not helpless,” said Tia. “I’ve taken some self-defense courses.”
    â€œPunching a guy in a foam suit isn’t the same as what you might be facing out there.” Connie paused. “I was going to say the real world , but it’s not exactly. I don’t expect you to fight twenty-foot-tall slime creatures, but if there are regular people, I need to know you can handle yourself. Come at me or get left behind.”
    Tia charged, hoping to catch Connie off guard. Connie stepped aside, and Tia fell flat on her face.
    â€œYou’re going to have to do better than that,” said Connie.
    Tia picked herself up. “I wasn’t ready.”
    â€œYou attacked me.”
    Tia, fists held up, approached more cautiously. Connie let her get within inches.
    â€œAre you going to throw a punch or just stare at me?”
    Tia kicked. She wasn’t certain what happened next, but she ended up on the floor again.
    â€œNice try,” said Connie.
    Tia sat up. “What’s this prove? That you’re a better fighter than me? Of course you’re a better fighter. Why wouldn’t you be?”
    â€œIt proves that you can’t handle this.”
    â€œI don’t get it. I’ve been on adventures with you before. Remember when my wedding reception was disrupted by those mob goons? Or that time I was kidnapped by swamp monsters? Or the dozens of other times I’ve been dragged into your craziness.”
    â€œThose times were different,” said Connie. “You were a victim of circumstances. You didn’t ask to get involved.”
    â€œSo, I still have more experience than most people. I may not be a master of alien karate, but I’m not some average person. I’ve seen stuff. I’ve proven I can keep my head in an emergency.”
    â€œYes, you have, but there’s still a difference. All those other times, I was saving you. This time, I’m letting you come