The Milestone Tapes by Ashley Mackler-Paternostro Read Free Book Online

happy future for him, no matter what that meant. She balled her hands into tight knots for fury, pressing them into her legs, soundless sobs found no purchase, she gasped for air between the wracking. It was guttural. Her marriage was ending, and not because they didn’t love each other—they loved each other—but because she was dying.
     
    ~ * * * ~
     
    “Gabe, honey, can we talk for a few minutes?” Jenna peeked her head into Gabe’s office, the bright drafting light bounced off the white blueprints he was hunched over.
    “Sure, hon, what’s up?” Gabe took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes and pushing away from the desk.
    Jenna slipped into his office and pulled the chair out across from his desk. Mia was playing in the family room, so Jenna had popped in a tape, and put a bowl of popcorn in front of her.
    “I just want to talk to you about a few things. Seems like we hardly have the time lately.” Jenna glanced over her shoulder to the open door, the soundtrack of Sleeping Beauty lulled in the background.
    “We could ask Ginny to come back, just to help?” Gabe offered, trying to read her.
    “No, it’s not that. I like this, just us.” Ginny wagged her finger between herself and the open door before continuing. “But, I was just thinking about a few things—one thing actually—and I wanted to discuss it with you.”
    “Okay ... ” Gabe hesitated.
    “I wanted to talk about life after ... after I’m gone,” Jenna began, worrying a loose thread on the hem of her shirt, keeping her eyes lowered.
    “Jenna—” Gabe folded his thick arms across his chest and narrowed his eyes at her.
    “Gabe, listen, please ... This is hard for me, and it’s important. I can’t put everything off until there is no time and then I’m worried because I didn’t say what I had to ... ” Jenna sighed, climbing from her chair and wandered over to the thick bookshelves in his room. They were a mirror image of her own, only his held multiple models of buildings he’d crafted.
    “Okay, I’m listening,” Gabe sighed.
    “So, here’s the deal.” Jenna didn’t turn around; she felt the prick of tears threaten behind her eyes. “I want you to be happy again ... after I’m gone.”
    “Jen.” Gabe’s voice seeped heavy with compassion. “I’m not thinking about ... I’m not going there in my mind. You’re here, and that’s all I’m focused on. You, right now—that’s it.”
    “This is as hard for me to say as it will be for you to hear, but Gabe, we both know that—that you’re life is going to have to go on. And I just, I want you to know that I want that for you, I want you to be happy again.” Jenna wiped at her eyes.
    “I don’t even want to think about that, Jenna, please ... I don’t want you to think about that,” Gabe choked out.
    “How can I not?” Jenna asked. “All I think about is how this is going to hurt you. You and Mia, you’re my whole life. I just want you to know, to be sure of the fact, that I want your happiness more than anything else, so that one day—when it doesn’t hurt as much—you can know that you moving on, that’s what I wanted.”
    She heard the scrape of his chair against the floor and felt his arms around her waist, his lips on the side of her throat. Her heart broke.
    “J,” he breathed into her ear, spinning her around so that they eyes met, “I love you. You. That’s it. And whatever else may or may not happen someday, this is right now, focus on this—don’t worry about anything else.”
    “What if you meet someone?” Jenna leaned into him, resting her head against the strong plane of his chest. Gabe ran his fingers down her spine soothingly. “What if you fall in love?”
    Gabe pulled back, holding Jenna’s arms in his hands, meeting her eyes. “That’s what this is about? Meeting someone? Falling in love?” His words were ice, cold and hard in her ears, and his eyes were furious as they bore into hers.
    “I thought you understood,”