The Milestone Tapes by Ashley Mackler-Paternostro Read Free Book Online Page A

Jenna gaped back.
    “This is sick, Jenna, really. I don’t want to think about that, and I sure as hell don’t want to fucking talk about that.”
    “Gabe ... ” Jenna yanked herself free, balling her hands into fits and squaring them on her hips.
    “No, don’t even do that. Don’t get mad and flustered because I don’t want to talk about other women.” His eyes burned into hers, and he sighed heavily before continuing. “I get it, I really do. You want to tie this life up with a big, neat bow. You want to make sure Mia’s okay, and I’m okay, and life is just good for us ... and I guess knowing that will make it easier on you. And hell, maybe I should pretend, sit here, nod and agree and appease you. But you know what? You’re my wife, but you’re also my best friend, so when you’re … gone … none of this is going to be neat and tidy and fine. That’s not how losing someone you love works—and you know it—so stop trying.”
    “Please.” Jenna extended her hand, trying to reach him.
    “Jenna, I’m really serious. Okay?” Gabe lifted his eyebrows, his arms still crossed his chest and he lowered his face to meet hers. “I have one focus right now, that’s it—that’s you. I don’t want to think about anyone or anything else. Really. You and Mia, you’re it for me.” He shrugged lightly and ran his hands over his face.
    “I just need to know that you know my thoughts on this. I’m not asking you to do anything with them until the time is right for you, obviously ... but I ... I guess, I don’t want you feeling someday like you’re betraying me.” Jenna leaned back against the bookcase; she felt lightheaded and confused.
    “Okay, so I know. And now, I don’t want to ever talk about this again. We have so many other things to focus on.” Gabe pulled Jenna again, holding her against his chest so she could feel the pulse of his heart race through his thin T-shirt.
    “Dinner?” Jenna asked against the cotton of his shirt.
    Gabe laughed, pressing his lips against the top her head. “There’s that.”
    “We could order in?”
    “That sounds good. Pizza?”
    “Sure. Maybe I could rope Mia into helping me with some blackberry cobbler for dessert.”
    “She’d like that. Let me finish up in here, and then we can order.”
    “Okay,” Jenna stepped up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his. “I love you Gabe, and I’m sorry.”
    “Sorry?” Gabe leaned back on his heels, puzzled.
    “Yeah. Of course. For all of this. I don’t know how to do this.” Jenna closed her eyes, squeezing her hands together.
    “Jenna, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Gabe kissed her against, running his fingers over her back.
    “I just feel like I’m lost, I don’t know how to do this. There are so many things I want to do, things I need to say ... and ... ” she stopped. Nothing more came to her. She was lost.
    “This is new, to both of us. I think we’re both lost, Jenna, and it’s going to take time to be found.”
    “I should call Sophia,” Jenna blurted out. Her sister. They hadn’t spoken in months, and before that, it could have been years.
    “That would be good, she might be helpful.” Gabe nodded slowly in agreement, ever the peacemaker.
    “She hates me,” Jenna moaned, cupping her face in her hands.
    “She doesn’t hate you Jen,” Gabe soothed, running his hand over her arm comfortingly.
    “She does.” Jenna nodded, a childish pitch hitching her voice.
    “She doesn’t know you.”
    That was true, even Jenna had to admit. They were five years apart; they had never shared a life together in their childhood home. Sophia had always been the little baby running around after her, a hindrance and an annoyance, and Jenna had always been the big sister, irritated and tired of babysitting. But that wasn’t their problem. It was something much deeper and darker.
    Sophia had left at eighteen, fled to South Carolina without a dollar to her name, and no reason to stay. She