The (New and Improved) Loving Dominant by John Warren, Libby Warren Read Free Book Online Page A

taking a leap into this new and wonderful world. In that twenty-four hours, we did several scenes, went to The Vault where, in spite of my reservations, I did my first public scene. In this first encounter, I felt that the innocence of the virgin and the wisdom of the crone were operative, but the passion of the maiden had not really been released.
    For me, reality was much better than fantasy. The world of BDSM is replete with contrasts and polarity, but when I first entered this stage of clarity, I was quite surprised to feel an ambivalence when I reentered my vanilla routine.
    When I awoke the first morning back at home, I felt ambivalent about proceeding any further, despite a wonderful rest caused by having had my body sensually satisfied to the point of exhaustion. I wanted to run right back and do it all over again, but I kept asking myself if I wasn’t I was dragging my body somewhere my mind was not yet prepared to go. I realized that, in giving BDSM a try, I had been trusting myself and my perceptions about the situation. However, to go any further, I would have to trust my mentor, and this scared the living daylights out of me. I had tapped into my own passion, the lioness within me had roared, and she would not again be silent. The maiden was about to be liberated.
    Losing control is a common fear in the trust-building stage of clarity. One submissive who was playing in the fantasy stage asked me how I could give my mind over to someone. My response was that, in the process of submission, my mind does drift off, and it can drift off quite a bit, but this happens in a most pleasant way.
    Initially, fear can make it seem like a battle of wills, but as fear is replaced with trust the battle becomes a dance. Often, when someone dances with another person for the first time, they find themselves stepping on each other’s feet. Eventually, as each becomes used to the other’s style, they begin to move as one. If one listens to the music with the heart and responds with the will it is truly a brand new and exciting dance.
    Physically, submission is hard to describe to one who does not have submissive tendencies burning within the soul. I had, long ago, accepted that I must be a masochist. This was not a very pleasant thought, but it was the only term I could find anywhere that described my taste for pain. I knew that I did not like being hurt. In fact, I am a wimp when it comes to what I call real pain, but I and many other submissives can only describe the joy of a whipping or a spanking as increased intensity. The language is truly impoverished in trying to describe the physical feeling.
    Because there is clearly a sexual component, and most people recognize the nebulous word “turn-on,” perhaps, I should just say that I am turned on by acting on my submissive urges and feeling the physical aspects of submission, such as bondage, whipping, spanking, waxing or needle piercings.
    I have always been a spanking enthusiast. It still elicits the strongest sexual response in me. When I am spanked, my vaginal juices flow like a fountain, and sexual tension builds in my clitoris into a tidal wave force that longs to be relieved by an enormous orgasm. Whipping has the added smell and feel of leather, the caress and sting of the leather providing contrast in sensation and in emotion.
    Bondage was not initially a primary turn-on for me. I asked some of my submissive friends why bondage is such a turn-on, and typically, the answer was that it made them feel secure or allowed them to be sexual. As I have grown to trust my dominant partner, I have become more willing to be rendered helpless before being disciplined. The symbolic, consensual helplessness heightens the physical response and amplifies the pre-orgasmic sexual tension.
    Waxing is something that I had never heard of before becoming involved in BDSM, but I really love the sensation. First, I experience anticipation as I see the wax from the burning candle building up