The (New and Improved) Loving Dominant by John Warren, Libby Warren Read Free Book Online Page B

into a small hot puddle. The wax splashing on the skin is somewhat like a hot rain drop, but as it quickly cools, it feels like a point of massage oil. There seems to be a direct line connected to the clitoris, making the sexual response even more intense.
    These are just a few examples of how I experience submission physically. To those who still feel you have to ask, “Why do you enjoy pain?” The answer is, I have the strongest and best multiple orgasms this way.
    Integrating spirituality and ritual
    Looking at the stage of transparency takes me into the arena of deep trust. For many it has a spiritual component. I am called to the reality of BDSM from within what I understand to be my soul. All of my religious upbringing and the faith development that took place in adult life led me to accept this truth.
    I can no more deny this call than the Biblical prophets could deny their call. I have seen this in others as well, others who risk more in the way of heart and home than I do by answering the impulse within.
    The word soul represents an individual’s ideas, feelings, hopes, fears and desires. Everything that shapes us, surrounds us or in any way influences us rests within this soul. When one senses the stirring within one’s soul it is nearly impossible to not heed impulses, whatever they may be. For me, the most satisfactory image of soul comes from the ancient Greeks, who viewed the different aspects of the soul with different deities. Psyche, the spirit, was married to Eros, the body. To me, this is why the call is so strong, It is a call to be whole, to be integrated and happy within.
    It often comes up that there is a strong similarity between religious experience and BDSM experience. I have been asked, “Do the submissive’s feelings in a BDSM relationship compare to other control/ surrender situations?” For me, it is more than a similarity. BDSM is part of my spiritual journey. I would call it a faith experience rather than religious. Anyone who experiences the joy of new-found faith is often willing to give up control to God. In mature faith, however, one finds that God speaks to one’s heart through the community and through the aching and longings within the heart.
    To listen to the spirit that calls beyond what you are takes courage. You know it is a right move spiritually when you feel peace about the decision, and the move is affirmed by the community. Often in new faith and in new BDSM experience people think that they are giving themselves totally. In both cases, preconceptions and “the way it ought to be” mentality are cast aside in order to make room for new fulfillment. But, in neither case, do people abandon who they are at the core of their existence. Instead, they often find that they become more true to themselves.
    Rituals within the BDSM scene may seem like a very strange concept, but they can’t be discounted. Patriarchal religions have long attempted to separate the holy from the body – especially from the sexual aspects of the body. Yet, if there is one way the almighty could be sure that we would go forth and multiply, it is by a marvelous gift of sexual drive.
    I associate the act of submission with ritual. Many of the toys we use in BDSM play are phallic symbols: knives, sticks, candles and needles. The vaginal symbols are more subtle, bowls, water or other liquids that flow such as melted wax. During a scene, beyond the enjoyment of the participants, there is a symbolic reality expressed that says sexuality is part of who and what we are.
    My Catholic background makes me think of a BDSM scene as similar to a liturgy, where the actions or props are symbolic of a spiritual truth. For me, the spiritual truth in BDSM is that we are greater together than alone. The polarity of our BDSM roles symbolize the uniqueness of individuals, and we approach the divine by the ecstasy of the scene being acted out.
    I often play out in my mind a scene where I symbolically give my gift of