The Other Half of My Heart by Sundee T. Frazier Read Free Book Online Page B

round eyes?”
    Minni knew her eyes were shaped just like Mama’s. “But they’re
blue
. Black people don’t have blue eyes.”
    “Hmm…I see….” Mama went back to her painting. “And those nice full lips that your sister’s so jealous of?” Sheglanced at Minni from the corner of her eye. “Where’d you get those?”
    Minni pulled in her lips and huffed. She looked longingly at Mama’s beautiful kinked twists of hair held back from her face by a bright orange and fuchsia scarf tied at the nape of her neck. “What about this?” Minni held up the floppy end of one of her limp red pigtails. “I don’t exactly have a black person’s hair.”
    “Gigi had to get herself in there somewhere.” Gigi loved to point out that she and Minni shared the same color hair, although Gigi only kept hers red with the help of dye. “That Irish pride runs deep and has some strong genes to go with it.”
    “Then where are Keira’s Irish genes?”
    Mama sucked in her breath, making a light whistling sound. “Don’t ever let Gigi hear you say that. Where do you think Keira gets her feisty spirit? According to Gigi, that fire is pure Celt.”
    Minni had heard Gigi say that as many times as she’d pointed out Minni’s hair. “Is that what you think?”
    “Your sister’s a lot more fiery than I’ve ever been, that’s for sure.”
    Minni didn’t think it very fair that she had gotten the fire hair but not the fire spirit to go with it. Keira was much more like Daddy and Gigi that way—they all laughed loudly, cried openly and expressed affection freely—whereas Minni had Mama’s kind reserve and tendency to worry what others might think. It wasn’t that she and Mama didn’t feel things deeply or love intensely—these things just gotexpressed more quietly than they did with Keira and Daddy. She didn’t know what, if anything, they’d gotten from Grandmother Johnson. Except, in Minni’s case, The Name, of course.
    Mama wiped her hands on a rag. She reached down and lifted Minni’s face. Their eyes locked. “Where’s all this coming from, anyway?”
    Mama’s fingers held steady. Minni shifted her eyes to avoid Mama’s gaze.
    A sharp memory pierced her thoughts, sending an aching pain all the way to the soles of her feet. She was sitting on the living room rug in the hollow of Mama’s crossed legs, like a chicken in a soup pot. They were watching
Sesame Street
. Keira sat beside them with her elbow propped on Mama’s knee. Minni felt safe with Mama’s arms draped around her and her warm breath heating the top of her head.
    That was when the song came on:
    One of these things is not like the other.
One of these things just doesn’t belong
.
    She saw Keira’s brown arm on Mama’s brown leg, and then her own pale skin against them both, and she shrank. She felt as though she was shriveling inside the protective shell of Mama’s body until she was nothing.
    “Hey.” Mama shook her shoulder gently, bringing her back to their deck and the smell of the pulp mill on the warm summer air.
    Minni blinked. What had they been talking about?
    Mama cocked her head and squinted. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
    “Nothing.”
    “Uh-huh.”
    Then Minni remembered the story they’d heard several times, from when she and Keira were babies, about the woman at the park who saw Mama holding Minni and asked if she was looking for more nanny work. Mama had been furious.
    If only Minni had been born darker, people would know she wasn’t someone else’s daughter. And she wasn’t just Keira’s friend.
    “Mama?”
    Mama raised her eyebrows, as if to say,
I’m waiting
.
    “People think I’m white when they look at me. Ever since the day I was born.”
    Mama put her brush down. “Maybe some people.” She got off her stool and sat on the side of the lounge chair.
    “What if the pageant people think I’m white? What if the other girls…?”
    Mama let out a low hum, as if all the mysteries of the universe