The Perfect Mother by Nina Darnton Read Free Book Online

said.”
    “I know you said it. But you are acting as if something is wrong.”
    “Something
is
wrong, Mom.” Emma’s temper flared. “A guy almost raped me. He was killed in front of me in my apartment. The police don’t believe me. Can you imagine how that feels? And on top of that, they seem to think I did it, or something. I don’t know what I should do or say or feel.” She paused and then continued quietly, as if talking to herself. “I’m kind of numb, I guess. I don’t want to have to talk. I just want to
be
for a bit. You always think everything can be fixed by talking, but maybe some things get better if you just leave them alone.”
    “But we can’t just leave this alone. You’re involved in a murder. You could go to jail. We have to get you out of here. Then we can find someone to help you deal with all this when we get home.”
    “I don’t need that kind of help. I don’t think my reaction is abnormal.”
    “No, of course not. But you need comfort, and you aren’t allowing it to come from me. You stiffen when I go to hug you. It’s as if you blame me in some way.”
    Emma sighed again and shook her head in exasperation. “I don’t blame you, Mom. I’m sorry if I stiffened.” She was clearly exhausted. “Can’t you understand that this isn’t about you? I can’t worry about your feelings now. It’s all I can do to keep myself together. If you want to help me, let me do that.”
    “I want to do whatever helps you, but that means legally as well as emotionally. We need to help the lawyers prepare your case.”
    Emma averted her eyes. When she looked back, her expression was softer. “Look, you were the first person I thought of when this happened. I thought, I just want my mother. But then you came and I realized how upset and ashamed you are. You’ll say you’re not, but I know you so well. I could see it in your face, your body language, in everything you said and did. And that doesn’t help me. It makes it worse.”
    Jennifer was shocked. “I’m not ashamed. There’s nothing to be ashamed about. If you’re ashamed, you shouldn’t be. You’re innocent. Why does shame come into this?”
    Emma shook her head slowly. “You can’t let it go, can you?” Speaking earnestly, she leaned across the table so only Jennifer would hear. “I just don’t think you will understand, Mom. You’ve lived your whole life in this privileged cocoon. So did I—you provided that, I know, and you thought you were doing the right thing—but when I came here I realized how spoiled we are, how many people are suffering, and how we have a moral obligation to help. You know what the unemployment rate is here? It’s twenty-five percent. None of the young people I know, people my age, have any hope of finding jobs if they stay in their country, and most of them have parents who are out of work and who they have to help support. And what about the immigrants? Especially the North Africans whose families sacrificed so much to send them here and now they can’t find work and there is terrible prejudice against them.”
    It sounded so young, so naive, so
adolescent
, this ranting about the hardships of the poor without reference to or realization of the very real danger she might be in. It was all Jennifer could do to control her irritation.
    “I know,” she said in what she hoped was a sympathetic tone. “That’s awful. But what has that got to do with your situation? You can’t help anybody if you spend the next twenty-five years in a Spanish jail, and unless that Algerian guy turns himself in or they find your boyfriend, there’s a chance you may do that.”
    Emma shook her head in exasperation. “You see what you do? You refer to him as ‘that Algerian guy’—he’s a decent human being who saved me from being raped. Of course he won’t turn himself in. They’d deport him and his family would starve.”
    “I thought the police said they would help him stay.”
    “We already talked