The Pixilated Peeress by L. Sprague de Camp, Catherine Crook de Camp Read Free Book Online Page A

tastes not unlike other seafood, save that the one I ate must hav e been a tough old monster marine. It was like chewing rawhide bootlaces. I learned much at Genuvia, but not what to do when my sweetling becomes a creature of the deep. What wilt do about it?"
     
                  Bardi nodded thoughtfully. "Tell me, did the Count ess parta ke of any intoxicating beverage betwixt the time I cast the spell and that when it took effect?"
     
                  "Sink me in Lake Zurshnitt. but did she drink! She outdrank me, with but half my bulk. By the time we returned to the room, she was as drunk as a Locanian lo rd. Forsooth, she even forgot her aristocratic inter dictions against carnal commerce with commoners and set about seducing me! Shed have succeeded handily, too, had not this change come upon her. But what — "
     
                  Bardi struck his palm against his forehead. "A h, the penalties of age! Thorolf, I meant to warn you twain that she must not touch any alcoholic liquor, even small beer, until after the change hath taken place."
     
                  "Well, why didst not?"
     
                  "I forgot! Ah, woe is me! Since this contretemps is in part my fault, I'll charge but half my regular fee — "
     
                  Thorolf roared: "You'll charge for turning my beau tiful countess into an eight-legged sea monster? Go futter yourself! Not a penny shall you have ; and you shall repair your error or face a suit for magical malprac tice!"
     
                  Bardi recoiled. "Dear me! From what ye say, the lady hath suffered no lasting scathe. An I can restore her proper form, I shan't have harmed her. Belike I had better view her mys elf. Wait whilst I dress."
     
                  He vanished into the bedroom and soon reappeared in his symbol-spangled gown, saying: "Now, where did I put my cap?"
     
                  Bardi rummaged through his clutter and eventually located his headgear resting on the dried human head. It w as an academic skullcap of stiff black material, atop which was fixed a square of the same material embel lished with a dangling purple tassel.
     
    -
     
                  At the inn, Thorolf whisked the coverlet off the tub. "There she is. Believe it or not, that is the veritab le Yvette of Grintz. You made her short, dark, and dumpy with a vengeance, and at a most inconvenient time."
     
                  The wizard had been breathing hard from keeping up with Thorolf's soldierly stride. He gave a dry chuckle.
     
                  "Oh, ye were just about to ... Ah, t o be ninety again! At least it's better than if she had turned werewolf."
     
                  Bardi fell silent while changing his eyeglasses, more closely to scrutinize Yvette, who waved a tentacle in greeting. At last he sighed.
     
                  "My good Sergeant, I fear ye've set me a task beyond my poor powers. The counterspell calls for some of the rare ingredients of the original, and I lack more of these. It might take a year or more to replace them."
     
                  "Mean you she must remain a polyp till then? *'
     
                  "Nay. There are others of the fraternity of greater puissance than I. Surely one of those can reverse the spell."
     
                  "Name one."
     
                  "The ablest for this, in my judgment, were the Great Psychomage, Doctor Orlandus."
     
                  "The Sophonomist? That were like begging aid from a tiger when fleeing a lion. I suspect Orlandus be more wind and boastery than true ability. It's rumored that his doctorate, even, be not genuine but self-conferred. I'd liefer consult Doctor Tetricus at the college; he is one of the few who back ed me in the Dorelian trouble."
     
                  "But Tetricus is on sabbatical leave, is he