The Pixilated Peeress by L. Sprague de Camp, Catherine Crook de Camp Read Free Book Online Page B

not?"
     
                  "Oh," said Thorolf. "I had forgotten."
     
                  "So I am not the only one, ye see." The iatromage shrugged. "From all I can gather, Orlandus is not a man to be trusted overmuch; but of his genuine wiz ardry powers there is no doubt. All I know for sure is that Orlandus' followers report amazing cures. One ninny, who never finished four grades of schooling, so augmented his powers that from the sound of a footfall he could tell t h e sex, age, weight, and general aspect of the walker. Orlandus claims that he who takes his full course can acquire such godlike powers; he calls such a one a 'diaphane.' "
     
                  "I've heard of them. Hast ever met such a demi god?"
     
                  "Nay; but others tell me t hereof, for whatever the tales may be worth." Bardi spread his hands. "I have told you all I can. Sergeant. This metamorphosis is par ticularly difficult to reverse, requiring a magician of the highest powers. Otherwise she might not recover her natural f o rm for months or even years. I can but urge you to hie yourself and the Countess to Castle Hill and bespeak Orlandus' aid — with due caution, certes."
     
                  "How shall I get the Countess from this inn without causing a riot?"
     
                  The aged mage furrowed his brow. " Could those who fetched the tub hither take it down the stair — unaware of its contents?"
     
                  Thorolf grasped a corner of the tub and, with a grunt, heaved it upward. The corner rose a hand's breadth, while the water sloshed about. Yvette moved uneasily in the tub, while color changes flickered over her mot tled hide.
     
                  "With the water and Yvette," said Thorolf, "it must weigh two hundred or more. Vasco's domestics could never manage it; nor could I alone. It's an awkward shape to carry. Hast no levitation spel l to lighten our labors?"
     
                  "Alas!" sighed Bardi. "In my youth I could levitate a hundredweight as featly as ye raise a spoonful of pot tage; but with age my psychokinetic powers have dwin dled. How if we hired brawny workers and fastened poles to the tub for carrying? Or better yet, run it out the window on a boom or crane and lower it by rope?"
     
                  Thorolf shook his head. "Vasco would never let us make so free with his tub."
     
                  "Ye could buy him a better."
     
                  "But in the course of this cheaping and chaffering, Yvette's transformation would surely come to light and cause a turmoil. And once we got the tub to the ground, what then? Carry her in my arms, or ask her to wriggle along the cobblestones after me like a faithful d o g? We should have a mob of Zurshnitters running and shriek ing like the fiends of the Dualist Hell. Whilst I know not how long these sea creatures survive out of water, I dare not expose her to the atmosphere longer than can be helped."
     
                  "Well, then," cre aked Bardi, "wherefore not buy another tub, hire a carter, place the tub in his cart, and fill it with water? Then ye can lower the Countess by a bedsheet from the window."
     
                  "Canst imagine what the good folk of Zurshnitt would think, if they saw a monstro us polyp climbing down the sheet by its tentacles? Besides which, the ter rified carter would flee ere she reached the ground."
     
                  Bardi sighed. "It would simplify matters an ye boiled her up and ate her, as ye say they do in Tyrrhenia."
     
                  "An ill-timed je st," growled Thorolf. "I may not be a perfect gentle knight of romance, but I have some sense of responsibility. I have it! We'll buy the tub, rent the cartage, and I shall carry Yvette out wrapped in a wet bedsheet. I'll tell Vasco that the Countess be d e parted, and this bundle be the