cheeks, which he hadn't done since I was a boy.
"Will Mum be all right?" I asked him.
"I don't know," he said, in a moment of candid honesty. "I don't know."
A mile down the road I had to pull over and stop, unable to cry and drive at the same time.
The memorial service took over two weeks to arrange. I was surprised by the number of people who offered help or support or just wanted to be there. I dreaded the service and spent days obsessing about the arrangements and trying to anticipate every possible eventuality.
When the day of the service finally arrived, there were only two things that really surprised me. The first was the press. Only local journalists had shown any interest in the story up until then. There had been some big events in the national news that overshadowed our tragedy, and for that I was grateful. On the day, though, we received a barrage of phone calls from people wanting to speak to either Katherine or myself.
How did we feel about the loss of our daughter? Did we think the school was responsible? Were we taking legal advice? Weren't we interested in justice for our daughter? I wasn't sure what sparked off the assault but I had a suspicion that Mrs Welham was involved. The police liaison officer who had been assigned to Katherine screened all the calls and we spoke to no one who wasn't part of the arrangements.
At the service, the press were bunched around the school gates, held back by a couple of harassed-looking police officers, one male, one female. A group of photographers and journalists clustered around the school gate, thrusting microphones and lenses in the faces of anyone trying to enter the site.
The other surprise stepped forward to greet us. Garvin, Amber and Tate, all in dark grey, stepped between the reporters and the car and cleared a space while I helped Blackbird out of the car and Barry waited with Katherine.
"Is there a problem?" I asked Garvin.
He stepped in close while the other two prevented incursions.
"Stick with us and we'll keep the press back from your group. Don't worry about the photographers, none of the pictures will come out."
"Won't they think that's odd?"
"Probably. But without pictures the story will die. What can they do about it?"
We were escorted through the gates amid a blitz of flashes and allowed through. Amber and Tate came with us to the main doors and lingered as I allowed Blackbird to enter ahead of me. Once inside, I heard one of them challenge the liaison officer.
"You can't exclude us. The public have a right to know."
She answered, "There'll be a formal statement later if you would like to hang around." There was a chorus of protests, but with Tate looming behind her, no one tried to push past.
Inside there was a hubbub of low voices from the main assembly hall. A teacher walked forward to greet Katherine.
"Mrs Dobson, I'm Sally Helter, Alex's form tutor." She stumbled. "I mean, I was her…"
"I remember," Katherine told her, and squeezed her hand.
"Please come with me. There is a separate entrance for family."
She led us around the side of the hall down a corridor and through what must be the dining hall. There was another teacher waiting who nodded to us sombrely. He held open the door and we were shepherded into a hall filled with people. There was a lull as we entered and then the hubbub resumed as people spoke quietly to each other, exchanging news and rumour on the events of the past days. People were standing around the back and to the sides of the hall. There weren't enough seats. I looked around while Alex's form teacher guided us to reserved seats at the front. Garvin accompanied us and then fell back to the side to a small group gathered there. The other three Warders were there with someone else, someone I had not expected to be here. I exchanged a look with
Gillian Doyle, Susan Leslie Liepitz