compared to losing your child.
"We'd like to bring everyone together, if that's OK?" said the head. "To help the children and the staff. The school will be closed for the day of the service and I think most of the staff are planning to come along, if that's all right with you?"
"Yes, they'll be welcome, of course," I told her.
"Please let us know if there's anything we can do."
The head stood and offered her hand to each of us in turn. She had a firm handshake and a steady grip. We turned and left, with me still wondering what the meeting had been about. In the anteroom were another couple. The mother had bleach-blonde hair in a scraped-back style and big gold hoops dangling from her ears. She wore a white denim jacket that matched the white knuckle grip she had on the big brown leather handbag on her lap. The chalk-stripe suit and slicked-back hair of the man next to her made them an oddly matched couple. He looked uncomfortable, styled somewhere between city trader and used-car salesman. He was out of place.
She stood as we took our leave and I heard the conversation start behind us. The head greeted the parents with the same courtesy she had shown us.
"Mr and Mrs Welham, I'm glad you could come and see me at such a difficult time."
"You needn't give me none of that," said the woman. "He en't Mr Welham and you're responsible for this and no messing."
"We talked about this on the phone, Mrs Welham."
"Yeah and I en't finished yet. Now you listen to me…" The door into the head's office thumped closed behind them and Katherine looked sideways at me. She winced as shouting started beyond the door, underlined by the calm tones of the head.
"I do have some sympathy…" said Katherine.
"I don't think it helps," I told her, "and it won't bring any of them back."
"What I don't understand is what they were doing together. Alex never mentioned this Tracy Welham or the two other girls before. It's not like they were friends or anything. Kayleigh was the only one she ever talked about."
"I feel sorry for Kayleigh. She must feel like a lost soul without Alex. They spent their lives in each other's pockets."
"Her Mum rang me last night. She said Kayleigh's done nothing but cry. She doesn't know what to do with her."
"It's tough on all of us." I glanced back to where the shouting escalated further.
"Mrs Welham, if you would just sit down for a moment." The voice cut through the histrionics in full head teacher mode. There was a lull and we made our exit. On reflection, perhaps it was better to have these meetings privately, rather than in front of the whole school at the memorial service. I was grateful that the head had chosen to have this confrontation here rather than at the service.
In the meantime I had to go and see my parents. This was not the sort of news I could pass on over the phone.
I asked Garvin and he arranged for the loan of a car. The long drive down to Kent gave me plenty of time to consider what I was going to say, but when I arrived I was no closer to finding the words. When I drove up unannounced, my mother knew there was something wrong immediately and did what she always did in a crisis. She made tea.
We sat in their overheated lounge and I told them what had happened. Initially they did not believe me. They could not conceive of such a thing. Then my mother ran to her bedroom, locked the door and wouldn't come out. I could hear her crying, but she wouldn't speak to me. It made it seem like it was all my fault.
When I went back to the lounge, my father had poured himself a large whisky. It was only eleven o'clock. He poured me one as well, though I couldn't drink it because I needed to drive. We sat in silence, unable to bridge the gap between us. My mother didn't reappear. When I left, my dad came out with me to the car. He kissed both my