The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea by Yukio Mishima Read Free Book Online

sat down. The garish sun was edging toward the summit of the roof but the little lawn was still in shade.
    “That sailor is terrific! He’s like a fantastic beast that’s just come out of the sea all dripping wet. Last night I watched him go to bed with my mother.”
    Noboru began an excited account of what he had witnessed the night before. The boys kept their faces blank, but he could feel every eye on him and the straining to catch every word, and he was satisfied.
    “And that’s your hero?” the chief said when he had finished. His thin red upper lip had a tendency to curl when he spoke. “Don’t you realize there is no such thing as a hero in this world?”
    “But he’s different. He’s really going to do something.”
    “Oh? Like what, for instance?”
    “I can’t say exactly, but it’ll be something . . . terrific.”
    “Are you kidding? A guy like that never does anything. He’s probably after your old lady’s money; that’ll be the punch line. First he’ll suck her out of everything she’s got and then, bang, bam, see you around, ma’am—that’ll be the punch line.”
    “Well even that’s something isn’t it? Something we couldn’t do?”
    “Your ideas about people are still pretty naïve,” the thirteen-year-old chief said coldly. “No adult is going to be able to do something we couldn’t do. There’s a huge seal called ‘impossibility’ pasted all over this world. And don’t ever forget that we’re the only ones who can tear it off once and for all.’ Awe-stricken, the others fell silent.
    “How about your folks?” the chief asked, turning to number two. “I suppose they still won’t buy you an air rifle?”
    “Naw—I guess it’s hopeless,” the boy crooned to himself, arms hugging his knees.
    “They probably say it would be dangerous, don’t they?”
    “Yes. . . .”
    “That’s crap!” Dimples dented the chief’s cheeks, white even in summer. “They don’t even know the definition of danger. They think danger means something physical, getting scratched and a little blood running and the newspapers making a big fuss. Well, that hasn’t got anything to do with it. Real danger is nothing more than just living. Of course, living is merely the chaos of existence, but more than that it’s a crazy mixed-up business of dismantling existence instant by instant to the point where the original chaos is restored, and taking strength from the uncertainty and the fear that chaos brings to re-create existence instant by instant. You won’t find another job as dangerous as that. There isn’t any fear in existence itself, or any uncertainty, but living creates it. And society is basically meaningless, a Roman mixed bath. And school, school is just society in miniature: that’s why we’re always being ordered around. A bunch of blind men tell us what to do, tear our unlimited ability to shreds.”
    “But how about the sea?” Noboru persisted. “How about a ship? Last night I’m sure I caught the meaning of the internal order of life you talked about.”
    “I suppose the sea is permissible to a certain extent.” The chief took a deep breath of the salt breeze blowing in between the sheds. “As a matter of fact, it’s probably more permissible than any of the few other permissible things. I don’t know about a ship, though. I don’t see why a ship is any different from a car.”
    “Because you don’t understand.”
    “Is that right? . . .” An expression of chagrin at this blow to his pride appeared between the chief’s thin, crescent-shaped eyebrows. Their artificial look, as though they were painted on, was the barber’s fault: he insisted, despite the chief’s protestations, on shaving his brow and above his eyelids. “Is that right? Since when is it your place to tell me what I understand and what I don’t?”
    “C’mon, let’s eat.” Number five was a quiet, gentle boy.
    They had just unwrapped their lunches on their laps when Noboru