The Sphere by Martha Faë Read Free Book Online

different parts of the living room... every little thing pushes my bad mood to new heights.
    “What’s wrong?”
    It’s Axel, I don’t have to turn around to see him. I could recognize his voice anywhere. Even asleep I’d know his voice.
    “Nothing,” I say, looking out at the dark garden.
    “Nothing?”
    “Nothing at all.”
    Axel sighs and I turn slowly toward him, my gaze defiant.
    “What did I do?” he asks patiently, leaning on the porch railing.
    “I don’t need you to be patient with me, you know? You don’t have to make the effort.”
    “I’m not. Dissie, what’s going on? Have I done something?”
    Now his voice is sweet, which infuriates me even more.
    “I don’t know. I can’t really think of anything. Wait, let me see... Ignore me? Treat me like a little child? Share the details of my life with everyone? Invite me to someplace where I don’t know anybody and then blow me off? Stop me when you don’t want to hear any more reasons.”
    “But I only told David what you were going to study! What’s wrong with that?”
    “No one forced you to invite me to this party if you’d rather have gone alone.”
    “What are you talking about?”
    “You heard me.” The words scratch my throat as they force their way out.
    I look at Axel next to me, on this unfamiliar porch, and I can’t figure out why he’s with me. Carl made it pretty clear that I’m an ugly duckling. According to him I’ll be a beautiful swan one day, but I doubt it, personally. Now my duck feet hidden inside my flat shoes are turning in toward each other—I can’t stop them, and I don’t want to try.
    “Sorry,” Axel touches my hand gently, “I didn’t think you’d mind. Helping you meet people seemed like the right thing to do, so you could fit in.”
    “I can fit in on my own!”
    Pride flashes in my eyes. I don’t let go of Axel’s hands, but I’m so tense I can’t even feel his touch.
    “Yeah, I saw how you try to fit in.”
    Axel’s tone is bitter—so he did notice my little chat with Carl. It did matter to him.
    Not a word crosses the space between us. I lose track of time, I can’t tell whether our silence has lasted a few seconds or a thousand minutes. What a way to face up to reality! I’m nothing compared to the girls at this party. What is he even doing with me? I’m an idiot. There are not enough words in the dictionary to describe what an idiot I am for letting it get this far.
    “Axel!”
    It’s one of the little princesses. She calls his name shrilly and he looks at her and shakes his head. She disappears.
    “Please tell me what I did. Why are you angry?”
    He sounds calmer than he did a little while ago, but I don’t answer. It’s not that I don’t want to talk, I just can’t find the words.
    “I hate when you shut yourself up inside your shell,” Axel murmurs, and lets a loud sigh out into the empty night.
    “You acted like I wasn’t even there. You took me around like a pet, you totally blew me off. I saw how you looked at those girls and how they looked at you, and know what? You didn’t have to invite me. I wouldn’t have cared. I’m hardly the first person to move to a new city for college, I can make my own friends. I don’t need you to introduce me to people.”
    That’s just like me, no middle ground: either I can’t find the words or they all explode out of me at once.
    “What do you mean? I was only talking with a friend, I didn’t mean for you to feel left out. Besides, you could have joined in the conversation.”
    “Sure, if I had any idea what you were talking about...”
    Suddenly—and I’ve got no idea how—we’re fighting. This has never happened to us before. It’s not an intense conversation, it’s a real fight. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t stop myself from hurling accusations at him like cannonballs. Who is Axel? How did we get to this point? Better yet, how did I get to this point without knowing anything about him? This is the way life is: it