is ideal in any sort of important way. Abbot is too set in his ways; he likes what he wants and isn’t often inclined to compromise. Fine for our current situation; we plan our time together around the things we both enjoy, and all goes well. But I can tell that we would be incompatible room-mates. His meticulousness would make me crazy. The man wipes the water droplets out of the sink after washing dishes and squeegees his shower door after every shower—even if he has a naked woman trying to get him to come to bed.
I met Ben a few weeks ago. I got a flat tire at the gym, and by the time AAA got there, Ben had changed the tire and acquired my phone number. I’ve never dated a younger man before, and while I enjoy his company tremendously, I still admit to some embarrassment about the six-year age difference. I know it shouldn’t matter, but I can’t help how self-conscious I am when we are in public, especially since he is so affectionate. And tall. I was always a sucker for a tall guy, and Ben Kohn is the tallest guy I have ever dated. A full six feet three and three-quarters inches. Yum. With that lean biker’s body that just makes me feel like the Pillsbury Dough Girl, even though he does nothing but praise my curves. He’s very creative, which sparks my own artistic tendencies, and he is encouraging of everything I do without reserve. But he won’t argue with me, not even to debate an issue of the day. And I need that back and forth to keep my intellect feeling honed. He isn’t at all interested in any of the more elegant or luxurious or sophisticated things in life, and there seems to be a slight air of disapproval when I express a desire to indulge. But he does make me feel powerful and beautiful and strong, and his deeply held belief that I can do whatever I set my mind to and achieve excellence has a tendency to keep my spine straighter these days.
Unfortunately, the physical chemistry isn’t quite there for me. I slept with him a couple of times when we first met, but while he is a fantastic kisser, the sex wasn’t really amazing. And since this coincided with Abbot stepping up his courting of me, I told Ben we needed to slow down and back away from the physical intimacy. We’ll kiss a bit at the end of an evening; we’ve even spent a couple of nights together, just cuddling. And he is very sweet about not pressuring me for more. In some ways, I think the fact that I’m not sleeping with him is making him pursue me even more doggedly.
But for whatever reason, neither Abbot’s sophistication and intelligence nor Ben’s infectious energy seemed the right Friday night entertainment this week. Lucky for me, Paige had been available, and we made plans that involved Thai food and a showing of the documentary March of the Penguins , which I had never seen.
“Some more stuff came in today about the wedding,” Paige says, handing me a folder.
“How bad?” I ask, riffling through a small stack of papers, mostly e-mails and letters.
“No death threats today, but we are starting to get some of the communication the PR people were worried about. Not the people who always hated us, but women who are feeling betrayed by the marriage.”
My eye falls on the top page of the packet.
I read your books and heard you speak and turned down the only marriage proposal I ever got in my life. So now I live alone, and I was feeling pretty righteous about it, even though I have been very lonely, because I believed that I was being strong. I’m sure you and your new husband will be very happy, but I have to say I feel like you have slapped me in the face. Slapped all women in the face who trusted you that living single was the way to go. You won’t have to live alone, but what about the rest of us? How can you still go on the air week after week and tell us to be strong and independent while all the while you’re planning your wedding? How dare you? I hope you are ashamed.
“Oh boy. That’s not good,” I
A. Meredith Walters, A. M. Irvin