The Stiff and the Dead by Lori Avocato Read Free Book Online Page B

him with a spotless white afghan, Miles sat next to him.
    I explained the situation to Miles, who finally chuckled. Then I turned to Goldie. “I know you feel like crap, but I have to go to Bingo tonight. Which means I need a new outfit and—” I pulled the wrinkles up on my face. “—a makeover. Something slide-proof.”
    They both stared at me.
    Miles rolled his eyes. “Maybe you should come back to nursing, Pauline. I mean . . . look at you.”
    â€œI don’t have to. I know how I look.” I decided not to tell them about the “Asian incident” in the Ladies’ room. “And, Miles, you know I can’t go back to nursing. I still have scorch marks from being burned out.”
    â€œBut with the shortage in the country, you could pick and choose your job.” He rubbed Goldie’s shoulders as if that would make his throat feel better.
    Goldie purred.
    I smiled. “I don’t want to pick or choose a nursing job. In fact, I’ve sworn off donning a pair of scrubs or comfy shoes for the rest of my life. I like my new job.”
    â€œI know you do, but when the novelty wears off—”
    â€œNovelty? Wears off? Look at me, Miles. I’m wearing Mrs. Honeysuckle’s dress and shoes. The novelty of this job keeps changing. I like the change.”
    â€œWhat?” His hands slipped off of Goldie’s shoulders. “Sorry, Gold. You like the change, Pauline? You who have lived in this small town all your life and never ventured farther than Long Island Sound for a vacation?”
    â€œOkay. Okay. That was the old me. Besides, I don’t think I could go back to a job where I had to get up at five in the morning and follow some boss’s rules. Fabio doesn’t care what I do or how and when I do it as long as I get the job done.”
    Goldie turned toward me. “And how is that going?”
    I sucked in a breath and collected my thoughts. When I blew out the air, I said, “Well, I’ve become buddies with Sophie so that I can find out about her illnesses. I’ve already ruled out the gastrointestinal tract by the amount of food she consumes. She really doesn’t appear sickly, so I’m guessing Fabio is correct. She’s got prescriptions for illnesses from her head to her toes. Cardiac. Diabetes. Migraines. Arthritis. You name it. Sophie may be scamming the insurance company. Thing is, I’m not sure how.”
    â€œYou have to stick closer to her, Suga.”
    I nodded toward Goldie. “I know. That’s why I need a change of outfit. To go to . . . Bingo tonight. You up to it?”
    Goldie smiled. “For you, Suga. For you.”

    I stood in the doorway of Saint Bartholomew’s Church and looked across the room. Nearly every overweight woman looked like Sophie. Damn. I should have planned to meet her at the door, but she wasn’t all too thrilled about me joining her. I shuffled down the steps and into the hall in Mrs. Honeysuckle’s brown pumps. They did go well with the brown-and-white dress Goldie had picked out for me.
    I ran my fingers across my cheeks and prayed that when this night was over, I’d get these wrinkles off my face. Goldie had sworn I would, but I had my doubts when he layered globs of Vaseline on my face, formed the wrinkles—and then set them with superglue! He swore the Vaseline would allow me to peel off the glue.
    Please don’t make me permanently wrinkled, I prayed to Saint Theresa. I thought it was appropriate since I was in a church hall. Then I found my mark. There, near the stage, sat Sophie and her friends. Uncle Walt, Uncle Stash, Helen and Joey. Damn. I didn’t expect the usual crowd. But, oh well, I had a job to do and would have to ignore them.
    â€œMay I join you?” I asked as I approached.
    All the men stood except Joey, who looked at the others and then followed suit. Next, he actually hurried over and held the chair