The Story of Channon Rose: Lessons between the Lines by Channon Rose Read Free Book Online Page A

screamed for someone to get me out of their for what felt like hours. I think they forgot about me because no one came to feed me or check on me at least that I can remember. I thought I was going to die in there. I couldn’t move. I screamed for help but no one came. I screamed myself into exhaustion and it was the most torture I had ever endured aside from Misty’s abuse. I think they gave me too big of a shot because I slept and was in and out for what felt like days. I woke up to a nurse helping me walk out of the quiet room to see my mom who had finally come to visit me. I was drooling a lot, could barely keep my eyes open, and couldn’t put a sentence together. I had horrible bruises around my wrists and ankles from trying to get out of my restraints. I looked like an insane person. I looked worse than I did when I first went into the ward. My mother saw me and didn’t even recognize me. When she realized I was her daughter she promptly demanded answers of why I couldn’t walk or talk and why I looked the way I did. She was screaming at the nurses asking, “ What the hell did you do to my daughter?!” The nurse explained, but my mother was livid. She checked me out of the ward the next day, thank God. I was so happy, and I thought to myself I will never go back to a place like that again. Wishful thinking on my part….too bad that wasn’t the case.

THESE ARE THE LESSONS I LEARNED:
    I am now petrified of psych wards. The main thing I learned from this experience is that there is no drug in the world that can replace real life and happiness. When you hand someone over to a psychiatrist, say goodbye. They may never return. Now, this is not true for everyone, but it was for me.
    I learned one fundamental thing through that experience. As a child, you do not have much control over what happens to you. I was put into a psych ward against my will. But what you do have control over is how you choose to experience what you go through and the way that you think and perceive things. You could think like I did, “life as I know it is over,” or you can change the way you think about the whole situation. If I could have written a letter to my twelve-year-old self, it would have read: Channon, this sucks! But there is always someone else that is worse off than you—be grateful for what you do have that is positive, and no matter how bad something is, it could be worse! At least you are in a safer place where Misty cannot hurt you. You are still alive. You won’t be in here forever. Think about the things you are grateful for instead of all the bad things going on, and you will be on your way to true happiness. It is during the worst times in our lives that we need to change the way we think about our experiences.

Chapter 4

I Hate You – Don’t Leave Me: Childhood Bipolar Disorder
    “Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds.”
    ALBERT EINSTEIN

 
    T he psychiatrist had told my mother that I was bi-polar and that I would not be able to live a normal life without medication. I was prescribed 500mg of Lithium three times a day and Seroquel once in the morning and once at night before bed. The decision to put me on that medicine ended up being a serious mistake and the beginning of a serious downhill path for me. The meds prescribed to me were to control my bi-polar disorder. I was so frustrated with everything going on and I had lost a big part of my soul in that hospital. Because of all of that, I became very rebellious—and I was on heavy psychiatric medication as well, not a great combination.
    During those 30 minutes of meeting me, the psychiatrist “diagnosed” me with this serious disorder, no test needed. Oh yes, and my behavior as observed in the hospital contributed to the doctor’s conclusion of my mental state. Well, I can tell you that nobody acts like their normal self when thrown into a mental asylum. One man’s opinion would send me on a journey that nearly ended my