The Tudor Vendetta by C. W. Gortner Read Free Book Online Page B

she was busy,” I said.
    “Apparently not.” His brow arched. “Or were you planning on sleeping away the day? By the looks of it, you’ve had a rough night.”
    I set my cup down with an audible clang. “My plans are not your concern. I no longer answer to you.” I recognized the absurdity of lashing out at him, for he was not to blame, but I couldn’t control it. I suddenly loathed him. I loathed the court and wished I had never returned. At least in exile, I could pretend to aspire to another fate, believe there was some way to heal what I’d shattered. Not even the thought of serving Elizabeth assuaged me; all I could envision at this moment was a life of endless subterfuge, subject to Cecil’s ploys and to Dudley’s hatred of me—if I survived that long.
    “You are right,” he said. “You do not serve me. Thus, you are free to do as you wish. However, if you would permit me one last bit of advice…?”
    I glared. “When did my leave or lack thereof ever stop you before?”
    He sniffed. “I realize the task at hand may seem unworthy of you, being bait to trap Dudley. Nevertheless, an intelligencer does as ordered, regardless of personal preference. I hope you have not wasted my time. You have the potential to be our most accomplished asset. Certainly our best-positioned,” he added, “given your intimacy with the queen. But there is no room for error. If you have any doubts, you are unfit and should resign your charge at once. Disappointment is preferable to weakness.”
    His blunt rebuke made my jaw clench. Yet as he turned to the door, I heard myself say, “I do not doubt.” He paused, not looking at me. “And I’ll be in her apartments,” I said. “Wearing my best doublet and smelling of lavender, I promise.”
    “I don’t care about promises” was his reply, in unsettling echo of Kate’s words to me in the stables. “All I want is compliance. Remember what you are, not who you were.” He pulled open the door. “You are expected at the stroke of one. Don’t be late. She dislikes tardiness.”
    He left me standing there, my resentment curdling inside me.

 
     
    Chapter Five
    After consuming all the bread and cheese, and most of the ale, I felt better in my stomach, if not my spirits. Moving to the chest, I found my sword enveloped carefully in its scabbard and oiled cloth to weather the voyage. I hesitated, my hand hovering over it. It had come to me unexpectedly, thrown at me for my defense in a dying king’s secret chamber. Would I have need of it today?
    I did not think so. Moving it aside, I located the pouch of coin and clothing Cecil had brought: an elegant doublet made of maroon velvet, with matching hose, breeches, codpiece, and sleeves of crimson damask. I eyed the quality as I spread them on the bed. Cecil had thought of everything; he probably even had my measurements right. Taking a fresh chemise and under-linens from my bag, I draped them across the stool to air out the wrinkles and stink of travel before I went out in search of water. Whitehall had common bathing quarters, but I was in no mood for the company of gossiping, naked courtiers. A trough in a nearby courtyard yielded what I sought; splashing my face and hands, I used a cube of soap wrapped in linen to scrub myself, shivering in the cold as I toweled my body. I left a scum of grime on the surface of the water. Returning to my room, I ignored the curious glances of passing ushers and pages in the corridors.
    The clamor of bells announcing the hour greeted me when I emerged, dressed in my stiff new finery. Walsingham had failed to provide directions but I assumed Elizabeth resided in the same royal apartments her sister had once occupied. After taking several passages, I found the sumptuous privy gallery fronted by mullioned bays overlooking the Thames.
    The green river glittered in the sunlight, as if raw diamonds floated across its murky waters. It was a beautiful day, despite winter’s approach. The storm