The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio by Violet Blue Read Free Book Online Page A

had been led to believe it would be. As a matter of fact, I was pretty bored. I just lay there while my girlfriend went up and down methodically on my dick...and I started to lose my hard-on long before I was anywhere close to coming. I felt horrible—as if I was doing something wrong. It took me a long time to figure out that getting head is an active process—you have to stay involved with your partner, your fantasy, your erotic connection, or you just become a passive bump on a log, and that’s not sexy at all.
    I’m not just talking about physical safety for you and your partner, but the emotional temperature of both participants. If you’re both comfortable with fellatio, have clearly agreed to proceed, and are both fine with the sometimes fuzzy boundaries of control between giver and receiver in the fellatio exchange, then you’re in great shape. But if it’s your first time receiving oral sex or your partner’s first time performing it, if you feel unsure or anxious about something, or if your partner is reluctant for any reason, you’ll need to find out everything you can about your own physical situation, and what’s going on with your partner, before you get started.
    First times have that funny catch-22 of being simultaneously scary and unforgettable. With a partner who is giving fellatio for the first time, you’ll want to be more supportive than you would have ever thought necessary—patience, words of encouragement, slow pacing, and the willingness to stop at any time will help ensure a first time you’ll want to remember. If oral sex is something you’ve requested but your partner is reluctant, be aware of the pressure they may be feeling; explore their concerns in conversation, and hand them a chapter of this book to read when they need concrete answers about anything pertaining to fellatio. And understand that some people may never feel completely comfortable with fellatio, for whatever reasons, and that they will need to experience their feelings at their own pace.
If your partner wants to perform oral sex with you, and you feel there’s something bad about sex or your genitals, please tell them so they don’t feel hurt by your rejection of their desires. Or if you’re shy, try handing them a chapter of this book.
    Perhaps you’re the one stressing—about receiving oral sex. Anxiety can be no laughing matter when you’re about to have a lover touch, look at, and taste your genitals. Get to the bottom of your stress by finding out what’s interfering with your willingness or ability to receive pleasure. Are you unsure about the notion that your partner wants to put their face between your legs, let alone put your penis in their mouth? Take my word on it—our collective discomfort with our genitals is not limited by gender. Everyone worries about appearance, comparisons, and performance. Whether you’re a newcomer or an experienced recipient of oral pleasure, you might be concerned about how you look, how you respond to the sensations, or what your partner might think about you. So get comfortable, and read on.

    How Do I Look?
    One absolute fact about the way men’s genitals look is that every single set is different. No two penises are alike, nor do they get hard in the same way. However, the standard operating equipment is more or less the same: a penis (circumcised or not), a scrotal sack containing two testicles, and pubic hair that generally covers the mound over the pubic bone, the very base of the penis, the testicles, and the perineum (from the base of the balls to the anus). The skin on the pubic mound, the perineum, and the anus is similar in texture to the skin on the rest of the body, but usually a different shade. It deepens and changes in color as it reaches the base of the penis and the scrotum, and colors can range anywhere from light pink or peach to a tawny brown or dark chocolate. The texture is soft, and the skin is thin. If you think you may have a problem with your