going to be a long afternoon.
Four-ish. Every Thursday. Our place.
We own our own mismatched tea service now, purchased for pennies at a second-hand store. And a small selection of teas resides in our cabinet, seemingly out of place near the bottles of exotic tequila and Johnny Walker Black Label. Charlie sets the scene himself, his large hands working to stay calm as he envisions the pleasures that await him. Delicate teacups rattle on their saucers. Petite cookies jump on the plate as he sets it onto the tray.
I put one hand on his to slow him down, and then we partake in the ritualistic and aristocratic pleasure of high tea.
CHAPTER 3
For Him
I’m going to start this chapter, the chapter for the man who will, I hope, soon be receiving fellatio, with a broad, sweeping statement: you guys are expected to know everything. Everything, especially about sex. In our culture, men are expected to take the lead, know what to do, know how everything works, and have all the answers in bed— not to ask questions. Not to be filled with wonder at the mysteries of the human body and pleasure. And definitely not to explore the far reaches of your desire or push the boundaries of conventional male sexuality. The worst part is that there’s a serious lack of ways for men to find answers, unless you know where to look. It’s hard for men to even ask the questions, something that you’ll eventually need to give yourself permission to do, and feel okay about. I look at how men are stereotyped, layered with expectations, and given few options, and I think that you got a raw deal. The deck is stacked against you.
Male sexuality is grossly oversimplified and stereotyped everywhere you turn. Movies, advertising, and other forms of popular culture reinforce the narrow sex box you’re supposed to fit in, and most sex guides are no better. You’re either one way or the other: you know all the answers and everything’s okay, or you don’t. You’re either gay or straight, with no fuzzy lines anywhere in between. That’s how we have come to see male sexuality, and if a man isn’t sure about sex or wants to find out more, or maybe wants to try a sex act or idea that’s outside the box, he gets labeled. The guidebooks, and practically everything else relating to men and sex, seem to be convinced that all guys want to do is “insert, thrust, repeat,” and they think that to speak to men about sex they need to either use pithy, punchy sports euphemisms or employ an overly academic tone. How insulting it all is.
Sexuality is a spectrum of expression for everyone. There will always be new desires to explore and new things to investigate, try, reject, try again…
Fellatio as a sex act is deceptively simple. Just stick your dick into your partner’s waiting mouth—and bam! Right? Well, not quite. There’s plenty to learn about being a great receptive fellatio partner. You’ll be surprised—and aroused—as you find out the many ways that you can receive pleasure through oral stimulation. So, roll up your sleeves, and dig in.
A Prelude to a Kiss
It all begins with desire. Arousal, lust, need, passion, and the specific desire to feel your partner’s mouth envelop your penis and lick your testicles, scrotum, and anus. Or perhaps it’s your partner’s desire that’s doing the talking. At some point in the erotic dance you share with your partner, you’ll know that soon you will be on the receiving end of oral sex.
As they say, it takes two to tango, and you and your lover are two equal halves of the fellatio experience. When you’re with a new partner experimenting with new sexual expressions (such as adding fellatio to your routine), paying attention to what’s going on for both of you is crucial.
The first time I got head, I was utterly terrified after the first 60 seconds—not because I thought I was doing something wrong, but because it didn’t feel good. I mean, it felt OK, but it wasn’t the mind-blowing experience I