The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue Read Free Book Online Page A

opposite! About a week later he came over to my house with a hard-backed brush he bought, though he was still reluctant to use it, but I think that was mostly because he didn’t know how.”
    All too often, we know what we want but don’t know how to get it. You can muster your courage to ask for what you want, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be met with enthusiasm; or if you are, that your lover will have the information and skill to execute your desires in the ways you want. Opening up can be scary, and being met with shock, surprise, or distaste is even scarier. Learning how to discuss each other’s desires, and picking up tips for starting the conversation, is where you’ll want to begin.
    Get a Little Closer
    Whether it’s a lighthearted sex game or the revelation of your deepest erotic dreams, sharing fantasies can bring you closer. You get to find out each other’s sexiest secret wishes. Like eager teenagers on a first date, you find yourselves on a sexual adventure that takes you into territory far from your old sex routines. Your willingness to try new things (or at least talk about them) engenders trust. That’s good for your relationship.
    Our fantasies come from deep parts of ourselves. When we share them, we’re inviting another into our most private world. It’s easy to feel emotionally exposed. You have to trust your partner to withhold judgment about your ability, performance, and (even scarier) your having these fantasies in the first place. Although these fears can be addressed largely by talking about them, moving past them takes willingness to extend trust and the cementing of that trust over time.
    Not everyone is going to feel vulnerable sharing and trying out their fantasies. Some will be empowered; most will feel free at last to truly express themselves sexually; and many others will enjoy the verbal fantasy fuck of discussing their nastiest dreams out loud. Letting your fantasies run wild not only makes for pivotal sexual experiences, it can make your sexual relationship strong, vibrant, and alive.
    Many people find emotional intimacy incredibly sexy. Couples in long-term relationships often discover that adding fantasies and role play to their sexual routine opens up a whole new universe of satisfying sex, forges a deep connection, and restores the energy of their relationship to the good ol’ days of dating and courtship. If you and your partner play with fantasies as you wouldwith a new sex toy, you can ignite some pretty potent erotic sparks.
    Getting to Know Your Lover’s Fantasies
    Finding out what gets your lover’s motor running is as simple—and possibly as nerve-wracking—as just asking. If you regularly talk about sex, this is much easier, but if sex isn’t a typical topic for you, then you’ll want to read this entire chapter before you go digging for erotic gold. If you’re both fairly comfy with sex chat, ask your partner what some of their fantasies are, tell them some of yours, and watch the sparks begin to fly. Or you can each make a list of five sexual fantasies that interest you, and swap them. If your sweetie is a bit shy, but you can tell they’re ripe for some new sex play, try looking for cues to what piques their interest—a scene in a film that had them holding their breath, a well-thumbed erotic novel on the nightstand—then ask them, in a sexy way, what they like about it.
    Once you’ve got a fantasy theme in mind, you can begin to plan your scene. First, determine what the fantasy is, and who it belongs to. Is it your fantasy, is it your lover’s, or both? If it’s yours, you likely have all the fantasy components in your head, and all you need to do is tell your partner the details. If your ideas are too sketchy to put into words, see the fantasy suggestions in the first chapter—in fact, I recommend you read them together. Pick out the main elements—a sex act, an