The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue Read Free Book Online

the other is clothed, locker rooms, embarrassment, control, fear, romance, seduction, sexy food play, restraint.
    Did anything in these lists catch your attention? Spark a memory? Sound familiar? You can pick and choose which elements you’d like to make real and which might work better in the realm of imagination. Many couples would rather experiment with threesomes by pretending there is a third partner in the bed (employing their most inspired fantasy-fueled dirty talk) than by finding a real third partner to bring home. And it is much safer to send your husband to an imaginary dog house in your bedroom than to chain him up in the backyard. You can combine imaginary and real situations, people, and props in endless variations to get the most out of the fantasy scenarios that really turn you on.
    In Your Head, or in Reality?
    How “real” you make your fantasies is up to you. Generally speaking, you have many options when it comes to fantasy play within your relationship. You can:
    â€¢       Keep your fantasies to yourself, enjoying them for masturbation or fantasizing during partnered sex.
    â€¢       Share them by whispering your ideas or scenes to each other during sex.
    â€¢       Confess a fantasy that you’d like to try—this will likely ignite some very hot sex—even if the fantasy remains in conversation.
    â€¢       Talk openly about your fantasies together, and discuss ways in which you’d like to make them more realistic.
    â€¢       Design the scenario in which you make your fantasies come true.
    Successful fantasy play requires careful consideration of the circumstances, the timing, and your physical and emotional comfort. Most of all, it takes common sense. Let’s face it, the idea of playing a sex worker who gets arrested by a gorgeous police officer—and is taken to the station for a sex-drenched afternoon in handcuffs—may sound appealing, but actually getting arrested isn’t fun for anyone.
    This is true for every fantasy you bring into reality, from playfully wearing panties under a business suit to forcing your boyfriend to have sex with a gang of bikers in a gas-station restroom. Consider all parameters of comfort and safety, and decide together how far you want to take the fantasy. The panties under his business suit may seem cute, but might compromise his behavior at the urinal—or make him go in the stall all day, causing him to feel more uncomfortable than sexy. Or feeling uncomfortable may be part of the fantasy: a subtle humiliation while you’re not around to provide it yourself. He may not feel humiliation at all, just arousal, and you needn’t worry—but you won’t know unless you find out how far into the fantasy he’ll stay sexually interested, and what limits will spoil the fun. Similarly, your partnermay enjoy the idea of being “forced” into sex, but may react very negatively to being tied up, pushed around, or taken by surprise. Conversely, he may deeply desire all of these things, and despair that you don’t go far enough.
    How to Ask for a Spanking
    One of my closest friends, a widely published erotica writer, surprised me with a confession when I told her about this book. She was excited to hear that there would be a resource for people who want to live their fantasies, and wished that it had been around for her when, almost ten years ago, she would’ve given almost anything to have her boyfriend spank her. “I always wanted to be spanked. But it took me two years to get my courage up and ask him—and he was mortified! I stayed with him for another year and I was miserable. When I asked my next boyfriend, he was upset too, because he thought that spanking was ‘degrading’ to women, and he’d never in a million years do that—but I told him that when she wants to be spanked, it’s the