The Ultimate Stonemage: A Modest Autobiography by Duncan McKenzie Read Free Book Online Page A

eat a black eel than I would eat a leech, and I promptly tossed the bucket overboard, but the smell lingered for many weeks and made me feel quite ill at times. I was, however, soon afforded the opportunity for revenge, for, two days later, we encountered an ocean trader bound for the Duck Islands and thenAlican. I told the captain a terrible plague had broken out on the Duck Islands, and, if he was wise, he would stay clear of the place.
    As it happened, he did better. I found out long afterwards that this captain had spread the word of the plague among the other sailors of the Atlantic Ocean, and vessels avoided the islands from then onwards. Since no ships are built upon the islands, only tiny fishing boats, I imagine The Spear and his company were trapped there for a good many years.
    As for me, I continued my westward voyage towards America. I felt much relieved, for I had a sense I was safe at last. After all, the lands of my enemies were far behind; those who had tried to pursue me were stranded; and there were surely no creatures aboard my ship that might harm me.
    As you will see, in this last assumption I was grievously mistaken.

The Third Part
    In Which I Describe My Voyage To America, The Visions Which Accompanied It, And The Various Actions I Took Because Of These Visions
    We sailed the Atlantic for a week without event. The weather was fair, so I spent most of my time upon the upper deck sitting in a long chair and wrapped in a cloak (for even in the sunshine, the winds made the air cold). For entertainment, I read books or watched the sea, and when it came time to eat, I had the slaves bring a table out to me, and I ate in the fresh air to the sound of the waves. It was a very pleasant time in all, marred only by the fact that, every night, I was obliged to retire to my cabin and sleep amid the smell of those terrible eels. This odour is not strong, not in the way the odour of the stinkweed, or of rotting cabbage is strong; however, the aroma seems to increase with the length of one’s exposure, and even though the cabin door and the portholes were left wide open throughout the day, which aired the room very thoroughly, I would nevertheless return to my cabin each evening to find the portion of the smell still remaining had become doubly offensive to my nostrils.
    The smell was so bad that one night I abandoned my cabin entirely and slept in the large cabin with the slaves. This did not suit me, for slaves, too, have a smell. On the next night, I tried to sleep in the hold, having placed my mattresses upon the wooden floor, but it was an uncomfortable bedchamber, as well as being dark and oppressive. Moreover, I was no sooner sleeping than I was awakened by a minute sound, and upon shining a lamp around I saw amouse scurry behind my barrels of ale. On seeing this, you may be sure I gathered together my mattresses and blankets, and climbed the ladder back to the top deck, and thence to my own cabin, and I slept there, smell and all.
    You may perhaps think it cowardly of me to be afraid of such a tiny thing as a mouse, but I know something of the ways of these animals, which have a vile disposition towards climbing into the mouths of sleeping persons in the belief the orifice is a mouse hole. Inevitably, the sleeping person will inhale or swallow, and the mouse will be drawn into his or her innermost parts, whereupon the creature, seized with a fury born of panic, madly bites and scratches in all directions, doing such damage to the internal organs that the unfortunate victim dies a vile and excruciating death. Scholars now agree countless people are killed in this way, although rarely is the cause of death accurately identified, because the mouse, following its natural instinct, retreats deep into the intestine, where it is swiftly digested by the fluids still resident in the body of its victim.
    I write these words knowing full well the nauseating effect they will have upon many readers. Yet surely it is