The Unbalancing Act by Kristen Lynn Read Free Book Online

he ever took his kids to the grocery store. I can almost guarantee that he hasn’t. He’s probably one of those chauvinistic jerk-offs who believes that’s only the wife’s job. I’d like to offer him the challenge. Right now. I could have Eric meet me with the kids at the grocery store and bring Dr. Lipton along and have him complete this chore without an ounce of stress. If he could make it through the store without thinking the word “fuck” at least one time, I’d give him a hand job. Sounds like a fair shake to me (pun intended). I’d like to see him do it. I’d also like to see peace in the Middle East, but some shit just doesn’t happen. I hold back and let him talk.
     
    “Tell me honestly Vada. Why so much foul language?  Why do you feel the need to curse?  Why do you feel so angry?”
     
    I wish I could tell the truth and say I curse and have tension because my internal dialogue sounds just like Sam Kinison. I do not curse in front of my children, except for that one slip-up in the grocery store. The worst thing I may say is poop or darn it. That’s why I do it on the inside or in my blog. That day in the store I really wanted to throw bananas at the checker’s face and tell him to get a job down at the snail store because it was more his pace. But since I couldn’t say or do those things, I wrote them down. Isn’t that more socially acceptable than freaking out in public? I personally believe that every person has a little crazy in them. I believe that if we all said what we really thought our lives would turn out like a bad night of drinking. Everyone would cry and fight and then feel like shit the next day. So we don’t. We smile and act polite. Some of us can hide it better than others.
     
           “Well, I guess it’s just anger, Dr. Lipton. I have so much anger built up inside of me. I have a lot of issues with my childhood and my life and it’s all just too much.” My words turn to soft cries. “I was left at a grocery store one day when I was seven. My parents were busy arguing about where my dad had been the night before. I wandered around to get away from them. I was just going to pick out some cereal, and when I tried to find them they were gone. They’d checked out and got all the way home before they realized I’d been left behind. I have always felt like I’m so easily forgettable. Can you imagine being a helpless child feeling like your parents had just forgotten you?  I felt abandoned and scared. I can’t even go down the cereal aisle! My kids don’t even get to eat cereal, Dr. Lipton!  It’s all because of that incident when I was a child that I have a hard time even walking in to a grocery store.”
     
    There it was…verbal diarrhea, smoke, lies, and fairly good ones at that. I can’t believe what I just said. Although my parents did have issues, this never happened. They got divorced like many people. I saw my dad once a week and things were civil. I sure as hell had never been left in a grocery store, or any other store for that matter. If anything, I was glad they got divorced and didn’t put us through hell by staying together. The only reason I have a hard time going into a grocery store is because my children usually act like animals. Besides, they do eat cereal...a lot.
     
    “Vada, I feel we have hit on a very important subject matter here and I want to hear more. Right now though, I think you should go back to your room and take a nap. Do you have any visitors coming this afternoon?”
     
    “Yes,” I said, “my best friend.”
     
    “Very good then. Get some rest before she arrives.”
     
    Hells yes I will get some rest. Thank you Dr. L. I’m going to follow doctor’s orders and go off to shut my eyes. I haven’t had an actual nap since recovering from my c-section with Jordan. I trot with joy down the hall and find my door shut. I carefully open it as not to disturb Bath Salts Mary, but I find she’s not here. Hopefully she’s off