The Undesired Princess by L. Sprague deCamp Read Free Book Online

for me, why what a very singularly deep young man this deep young man must be!”
    There were no more speeches. A pair of public performers appeared; one girl in a noticeable lack of filmy clothing, who plucked a lyre; her partner a man, gorgeous in plumed helmet, who went through callisthenic motions with his spear while he sang. The song was a slow repetitive thing with about as much tune as a set of church-bell changes.
    Hobart was grateful when the banquet broke up. His gratitude at once gave place to apprehension when the princess caught his hand and towed him after the king and queen.
    She led him through a maze of halls and rooms until they came to a moderate-sized one with subdued lighting and a large sofa. The king and queen were standing; Gordius laid a pudgy hand on Hobart’s shoulder, saying: “I thought you’d like it better if I didn’t order a full-dress state banquet, my boy. Some kingdoms do for their champions and wear the poor fellows out. When a man’s fought a dragon all day, he’s not apt to feel like reveling all night.”
    “Fine,” said Hobart.
    “You’ll be up early for the behemoth hunt tomorrow, won’t you?”
    “Huh? I suppose so.”
    “Splendid! If there’s anything you want, or any information— “
    “Gordius!” interrupted Queen Vasalina. “Don’t talk the poor boy to death. Can’t you see they want to be alone?”
    “Heh, heh, I guess you’re right. So, goodnight, Rollin. You know what to do.” King Gordius poked Hobart’s ribs with his thumb, grinning. Hobart despairingly watched the royal pair depart; they beamed back at him from the door, and his soul sickened.
    Princess Argimanda leaned back against one end of the couch, with one leg doubled under her and one arm along the back. She was a dazzling creature, but Hobart repeated to himself: I won’t propose, I won’t propose . . .
    “Rollin,” she said at last, “won’t you sit down?”
    That seemed like a harmless request. He complied, then remembered some girls were repelled by cigars. He got out one. “Mind?”
    “Not at all, dear.”
    Hobart bit off the end and lit up. When it was going comfortably, he asked: “What’s become of your friend the lion?”
    “Oh, Theiax will be along some time; I don’t know when. He has no sense of time, which is why he always speaks in the present tense.”
    Silence. Then Argimanda said: “You made a remarkable speech, Rollin.”
    “Thanks. Didn’t think it was much good, myself.”
    “I did not say it was good, dear.”
    “Oh. You mean remarkably bad?”
    “No. It was remarkable in that I could not understand it.” Hobart looked at her sharply, and she explained: “You see, my fairy godmother gave me intelligence as her foremost gift. Yet, as nearly as I could make out, the last paragraph was simply a complex way of saying ‘I don’t know.’ ”
    “That’s all it was,” grinned Hobart. “What about this fairy godmother? Is it a metaphor?”
    “A—what? Your language must differ from pure Logaian, which has no such word.”
    “Sure of that?”
    “I should be; I edited the new standard dictionary,” said the princess calmly.
    “I meant,” said Hobart, “do you really have fairy godmothers and all that?”
    “Of course! The word exists, so the thing the word refers to must exist. I know mine well; her name is Kyzikeia, and she visits me every year on my birthday to see how I’m doing.”
    “And if a fairy godmother gives you a quality, such as intelligence, you have to have that quality all your life?”
    “But naturally! For example, Alaxius received the qualities of selfishness and superficiality along with his virtues, so selfish and superficial he must be. Poor Charion had the worst luck; he got neurosis, irritability, and mendacity.”
    “That what you meant when you warned me against believing him?”
    “Yes. Not that he lies all the time; so much mendacity in one soul would be impractical. But in important matters you can generally