The Unexpurgated Diary of a Shanghai Baby by Elsie McCormick Read Free Book Online Page B

watched amah’s younger sister hand starch mama’s white kid gloves.
May eighteenth, later
    Weather still good. Papa said he had to hurry at noon, as he and lawyer friend at club were going to look into important case that had just come up. Mama asked him if important case had just come up from cellar. Quiet tiffin.
May nineteenth
    Bertie called this afternoon. Said he was sorry to have stayed away so long, but that he had sprained shoulder.
    â€œYes, I’ve heard she dances like that,” said Auntie with ice-box expression.
    Bertie pulled collar as face turned color of Jap baby’s felt hat. Then asked Auntie why she went with Cyril person.
    â€œThere is nothing the matter with Cyril,” said Auntie, tossing head. “He goes in the best society in Pootung.”
    Bertie asked Auntie what Cyril did for a living, and Auntie said she wasn’t sure but thought he handled remittance department in some bank, as she had heard he was remittance man.
    Bertie tried to hold Auntie with arm and Auntie said she would scream if he didn’t stop. Tried to help by squalling to call family. Bertie pulled collar again and said he would have to go home. Went. Auntie said I was a pest and ought to be locked up in garret. Can’t understand family. Guess I’ll go to sleep with wooden elephant and make-believe chow.

Chapter IX
    In Which the Baby is First Introduced to Mr. Henli Regatta … Mama Brings Happiness to the American Navy … The Baby Goes on Spree at Theater and Mah-Jongg Party … Peanuts as an Infant Diet.
MAY twentieth
    Too many clothes for weather. Wish amah would dress me like Auntie. Had nap upstairs while coolie tried mama’s cold cream on complexion. Amah caught him. Told him he should be ashamed to take mama’s things and that anyway she had seen bottle first. Coolie came back later and took drink of mama’s florida water. Seemed very happy. Much Chinese music. Wish they’d let me have nap, as being baby in Shanghai is not easy job.
May twentieth
    Auntie excited at tiffin, as black cat had crossed path. Asked papa if he believed in signs.
    â€œNot in Shanghai,” said papa. “I waited for fifteen minutes for a tram this morning at a place called a ‘Request Stop.’ Next time I’ll send my request in fivedays in advance and get the seal of the Minister of Communications in Peking.”
    Auntie said she didn’t mean that kind of signs, but wanted to know if black cat had any connection with bad luck. Papa said it often did, as he had caught cook’s cat drinking cream several times and it had always meant bad luck for the cat.
    Mama said that upstairs coolie had broken shaving mirror that morning, as he seemed excited and was working in hurry to go away to Chinese funeral. Papa said that if he wasn’t more careful he would soon go to another one, only nobody would expect him to light joss sticks. No more conversation about coolie, as papa stopped to tell houseboy that though he was fond of soup, he didn’t like it on collar-bone.
May twentieth, later
    Went out for jaunt in perambulator with amah. Amah very good chauffeur. Pushes ricsha coolies out of way with conversation. Saw Jap baby in front of bath-house and hoped He would get lots of soap in mouth. Later passed Auntie and girl friend, but was cut dead. Hate these social distinctions.
May twenty-first
    Nice day. Auntie busy getting new clothes to wear Sunday when she goes to see somebody called Henli Regatta. Don’t know Henli. Must be new friend.
    Auntie said all ready-made clothes she had tried on fitted like an Underwood typewriter cover on a Corona.
    Mama told her she should be careful not to speak of typewriters, as it wouldn’t do to let Shanghai people know that she had had job in office of coal and feed store at home.
    â€œI’ve been introducing you as somebody with money, and you ought to help out in the impression,” mama said.
    â€œHaven’t