The Victory by Cynthia Harrod-Eagles Read Free Book Online Page A

The sooner it's done, the sooner I can come back to you,' he added uncertainly.
    She forced a smile, and said, 'I am glad for you, truly. I know what you are, and I wouldn't want you any different. Do you think it would please me to have you stay at home for my sake? I only wish I were a man and could go too.’
    He leaned forward to brush the curls from her brow and kiss it. Do you? I don't. I much prefer you as a woman, my Lucy.'
    ‘ Being a woman has grave disadvantages,' she said in a low voice. He regarded her with his head a little tilted.
    ‘ What is it, my love? Something's wrong. Has something happened while I was out?'
    ‘My husband came to see me,' Lucy said.
    He sat back. ‘Ah,' he said, 'I see.'
    ‘ No, you don't,' she said quickly. 'I asked him to come and see me. I had something — something to tell him. Something —' She stopped and swallowed. 'Weston, I am with child.' He said nothing, nothing at all, and in terror she seized his hand and cried, 'Weston do you hear me? I am with child! I am going to have your child!’
    His breath left him in a long sigh. 'Oh, Lucy,' he said, and reaching forward he took her in his arms and held her against him, and laid his cheek on the top of her head. She clung to him, wondering if he were glad or sorry, knowing only that he was offering her comfort. But when she released herself and pushed him back so that she could look at him, she saw in his face such an expression of wonder and joy that made her breathless.
    ‘You're not angry?' she said.
    ‘Oh, my darling,' was all he said, but it was enough.
    ‘ I didn't want to tell you until you had your ship,' she went on, 'because I thought you might refuse if you knew. And I had to tell Chetwyn first. He is my husband, after all.’
    Weston grimaced. 'Yes, I know that. You don't need to remind me. But Lucy, this changes everything. You must see that. I can't go away and leave you now. I'll go to the Admiralty tomorrow and tell them that I decline the commission. They may still give me a staff appointment, and if they don't — well, there's always something one can do: the dock yard or the victualling yard or something.'
    ‘ No, no,' Lucy cried, struggling up. 'You mustn't think of it! Oh Weston, I am glad that you are pleased! I was so afraid that you would look angry or disappointed, and then I don't know how I should have borne it. But you must not think of refusing your commission. That was the very reason I didn't tell you sooner. I shall be all right. I shan't be alone: I shall have Docwra with me, and she saw me through the others with no trouble. And then, when you come back ...' Her voice faltered, but she went on quickly to forestall him. 'Don't you see, it would make me feel quite dreadful if you were to give up your ship. It would make me feel as though I had ... deprived you.’
    Weston laughed. 'Lucy, my dear, sweet simpleton, how can you talk such nonsense? My darling, you are to have my child! We are to have a child, and do you think that I would go and leave you now, of all times? No, my love, I shall go and see the earl the first thing and talk it over with him. There must be a divorce — it won't be pleasant, but there's no help for it — and then you and I can be together as man and wife ...' His voice trailed away as he saw her expression.
    ‘ No, Weston, you don't understand. Chetwyn doesn't want to divorce me. He said he will look after me, but he won't acknowledge the child. He said it must be sent away.’
    All the time he had been talking, the layer upon layer of complication, difficulty, and unpleasantness that the situation entailed had been revealing themselves to Weston's imagination in horribly vivid detail; and his initial joy at the thought of their love bearing fruit was sinking under the realisation of what it would really mean to both of them. But his love for Lucy was absolute, and he knew, despite her usual appear ance of brisk practicality, how childlike and vulnerable she was.