The Wall by Amanda Carpenter Read Free Book Online

tightened again.
    'You need a nursemaid to take care of you if you're going to be this
    irresponsible,' he told her, and she put a hand to her mouth to keep
    from laughing aloud.
    They found their shoes quickly in the moonlight, and both had to sit
    on the sand to put them on. She made a comment about his nice
    slacks, which he promptly told her not to worry about, and they both
    sat looking over the dark water that occasionally sparkled from the
    pale light that gently suffused the October night. The air was getting
    nippy; even though the days were just like summer with an
    unseasonal heat, the nights were getting distinctly chilly.
    The water lapping so gently seemed to have her falling into a trance.
    She lay back on the soft sand and stared up at the sky. The man
    beside her was silent, almost totally black, and she wondered that she
    would feel alternately so comfortable with him and at the same time
    so uneasy. She wondered why he was so distinctly unfriendly to
    strangers, or why he would want to check up on a neighbour with
    very little provocation. She decided that he must be either very rich,
    or illegal, and possibly both. She decided that she didn't want to
    know.
    'I want a cigarette so badly, I can just taste what it would be like,' she
    told him conversationally. 'That marvellous smell, the relaxation . . .'
    '... the smoke damage to your lungs, the heart problems ...' added
    Greg with what sounded like a smile in his voice.
    '... the tantalising curl of the smoke from the glowing end, such
    pleasure ...' she murmured, and laughed. 'It's a good thing I burned
    my carton of cigarettes! Now there aren't any in the house—oh,
    wonderful! I forgot to check the glove compartment of my car, and I
    always keep a pack there. I'll have to go and get them.' She didn't
    move, in spite of the craving her body felt.
    'You don't need them. Throw them out!' he told her, propping himself
    up on one elbow to look down on her face. The moonlight on her
    skin made it look like polished marble, and her eyes glittered like
    liquid jewels. 'Why should you need artificial stimulation or a
    depressant? You seem like you can get your happiness well enough
    on your own. Make in on your own steam, don't rely on drugs.'
    The marble smoothness of her face cracked, and as he watched, the
    liquid quality of her gleaming eyes shimmered and two sparkling
    tears slid down her cheeks. The eyes closed, hiding those expressive
    orbs. Then, with a sudden movement, she rolled over in the sand and
    hid her face in her arms to weep.
    Greg moved close, shocked. 'What did I say?' he asked her lowly,
    putting out a hand to lay on those shaking shoulders. They felt so
    thin! 'What did I do?'
    After a little, Sara whispered, 'It isn't you, it's me.'
    'What did you do?' The question was asked gently. The hand on her
    shoulder rubbed up and down, soothing and comforting.
    At that, she rolled back over and stared up at the sky, feeling after
    that first bit of terrible sadness a surprising measure of calm. 'I've
    been a fool, that's all,' she said, smiling a little. 'It's hard to admit
    when you've been a fool, and often you don't feel proud of yourself.
    When I was sick, before I knew it, I was feeling really tired and
    draggy, really down. I could barely get through work. Someone
    offered me a pill. I guess it was speed. I wanted to take it so badly,
    and I've always been very careful as to what I put in my body and
    there I was, wanting to take that pill. I told myself that it was only,
    one, that it wouldn't really make any difference. Of course that's not
    true. It's not the pill that matters, but the reasons and philosophies
    behind it.'
    He was very still, and when she paused, his low voice prompted
    gently, 'And did you take it?'
    'No,' she sighed, stirring. 'But that was when I realised that something
    was terribly wrong in my life, and that's why I'm changing it right
    now. There for a while I was afraid I'd lost myself somewhere along
    the