onions.â
Iâd hoped sheâd say ânothing,â so I could leave the room. Working beside her in the kitchen seemed too couple-ish, too . . . intimate. Jillian was my sister-in-law, but lately, she was acting more and more like a wife.
I hadnât foreseen this complication when Iâd moved from NewOrleans to Wedding Tree in January. Christineâs mother and father had offered to help with the kids, and it had seemed like the ideal solutionâespecially after the third nanny quit.
The girls didnât do anything in particular to drive the nannies away, although heaven knows they can be a handful. The first nanny, Miranda, had been a gem. A grandmotherly woman with a gold front tooth and a nurturing nature, she stayed with us for a year and a half. The girls were at their worst thenâit was right after their motherâs death and all of us were raw. Sheâd been a lifesaver. But then Mirandaâs daughter had triplets, and sheâd moved to Houston to help herâwhich was understandable, but it left us in the lurch, and the girls grieved Miranda almost as much as theyâd grieved their mother.
I put the girls in daycare, but one or the other was always sick, and as the attorney heading up the Public Protection Division of the Louisiana Justice Department, I had court dates and other hard-to-miss job obligations, plus I had to frequently travel.
So I hired Ashleigh. I should have known betterâshe was a nineteen-year-old anorexic brunette who reported for nanny duty in high heelsâbut I was desperate. She was inattentive and constantly texting her friends, interested only in planning her nights out, sulking if I needed her to stay late. As soon as she found a job that left all her evenings free, she was gone.
The woman after her was Gretchen, and well . . . the girls just never warmed to her. She was fortyish and hyper-efficient, but her personality was as frosty as her streaked hair. The girls started throwing tantrums and clinging to me and acting out in ways that the pediatrician said were normal for kids whoâve experienced a loss, but I couldnât help but think it was partially due to Gretchenâs aura of detachment. When she told me another family had offered her more money, I wished her luck and said good-bye.
My in-laws, Peggy and Griff Armand, had suggested that we move to Wedding Tree before, but I hadnât wanted to uproot the girls. Maybe I hadnât wanted to uproot myself, either; the thoughtof leaving the home Iâd shared with Christine had seemed like more than I could bear.
Two years after Christineâs death, though, continuation of location seemed a lot less important than continuation of caretakers. Wedding Tree was halfway between New Orleans and Baton Rouge, and since I split most of my time between the two cities, it made sense logistically.
The move made sense emotionally, as well. âWhy hire a stranger to help with the girls, when we would love to watch them?â Peggy had said. âZoey starts kindergarten next year, so this is a good time to move and get settled. And thereâs a fabulous half-day preschool run by our church that both girls would just love.â
âAnd I can help,â Jillian had added. She was a middle school teacher and her late afternoons were free, although that wasnât really a consideration when I made the decision to move to Wedding Tree. If Jillian crossed my mind at all, it was only as a backup for Peggy.
I certainly hadnât anticipated the way Jillian would insinuate herself into our lives. Every evening when I went to Peggyâs to pick up the girls, there she was. She trailed us home and made dinner. She stayed and washed clothes and cleaned the house. It was almost as if she lived here.
As if she
wanted
to live here. I was getting the uncomfortable feeling that she harbored romantic aspirations I didnât share.
Her hand brushed
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