Bermudas, and low-heeled shoes for women.
Dark glasses were de rigueur for both sexes, and there was little bare flesh on show
because members of the Superclass were too old for that now, and any such display would be
considered ridiculous or, rather, pathetic.
Igor noticed one other thing: the mobile phone. The most impor- tant item of clothing.
It was essential to be receiving a constant stream of messages or calls, to be prepared to
interrupt any conversation in order to answer a call that was not in the least urgent, to
stand keying in endless texts via an SMS. They had all forgotten that these initials mean
Short Mes- sage Service and instead used the keypad as if it were a typewriter. It was
slow, awkward, and could cause serious damage to the thumb, but what did it matter? At
that very moment, not only in Cannes, but in the whole world, the ether was being filled
with messages like Good morning, my love, I woke up thinking about you and Im so glad to
have you in my life, Ill be home in ten minutes, please have my lunch ready and check that
my clothes were sent to the laundry, or The party here is a real drag, but I havent got anywhere else to go, where are you? Things
that take five minutes to be written down and only ten seconds to be spoken, but thats the
way the world is. Igor knows all about this because he has earned hundreds of millions of
dollars thanks to the fact that the phone is no longer simply a method of communicat- ing
with others, but a thread of hope, a way of believing that youre not alone, a way of
showing others how important you are.
And it was leading the world into a state of utter madness. For a mere five euros a month,
via an ingenious system created in London, a call center would send you a standard message
every three minutes. When you know youre going to be talking to someone you want to im-
press, you just have to dial a particular number to activate the system. The phone rings,
you pick it up, open the message, read it quickly, and say Oh, that can wait (of course it
can: it was written to order). This way, the person youre talking to feels important, and
things move along more quickly because he realizes hes in the presence of a very busy
person. Three minutes later, the conversation is interrupted by another message, the
pressure mounts, and the user of the service can decide whether its worth turning off his
phone for a quarter of an hour or lying and saying that he really must take this call, and
so rid himself of a disagreeable companion.
There is only one situation in which all mobile phones must be turned off. Not at formal
suppers, in the middle of a play, during the key moment in a film, or while an opera
singer is attempting the most difficult of arias; weve all heard someones mobile phone go
off in such circumstances. No, the only time when people are genuinely concerned that
their phone might prove dangerous is when they get on a plane and hear the usual lie: All
mobile phones must be switched off during the flight because they might interfere with the
onboard systems. We all believe this and do as the flight attendants ask.
Igor knew when this myth had been created: for years now, airlines had been doing their
best to convince passengers to use the phones at- tached to their seat. These cost ten
dollars a minute and use the same transmission system as mobile phones. The strategy didnt
work, but the myth lingered on; they had simply forgotten to remove the warn-
ing from the list of dos and donts that the flight attendant has to read out before
takeoff. What no one knew was that on every flight, there were always at least two or
three passengers who forgot to turn their phones off, and besides, laptops access the
Internet using exactly the same system as mobiles. And no plane anywhere in the world has
yet fallen out of the sky because of that.
Now they were