THIS Is Me... by Sarah Ann Walker Read Free Book Online Page A

pay attention, and listening to her screaming is deafening.  Listening to Marcus yelling is exhausting. 
      What's he going to do to me?  Did he hire someone to kill me?  Why would he talk so casually about killing me?  I'm a good wife and a good person.  I do everything right.  And Marcus is proud of me for being good.  So what’s HAPPENING?
 
      OH!  My mother IS here- I can feel her.  She's brushing my hair, and she's smiling at me through the mirror again.  Ugh, I can see her bony skeleton hands again.  There they are- so white and so thin. 
      Dammit, my mother’s hands are around my throat again.  My mother’s hands are choking me again. 
  Slowly, I feel the pressure as her smile widens.  Slowly, I feel her thin fingers pushing into my skin again.  Slowly, I feel her fingers tightening around my throat again.  Slowly, I feel the panic... Again.
  Why does she always do this to me? I mean she always stops, so why even do it?  It makes no sense to me. 
      I know she knows I'm scared.  I know she knows she scares me.  I know she knows I'm afraid of her every time she does this to me.  But she always stops.  When my eyes close and I push out a hard breath, she always stops strangling me. 
  Oh god, why does she stop?  I don't get it.  Just do it already!
  Still squeezing, my breath is getting harder and harder.  Oh!  Maybe this time she won't stop.  Huh. 
      This time she seems like she really wants to keep going.  This time I'm really, truly panicked.  Maybe this is finally the time she doesn't stop.
      Wait!  This time I don't want to close my eyes and stop fighting.  This time I want to see her smiling at me.  This time I want to watch my mother kill me.
      With a gasp, I open my eyes.

 
     
      And staring at Marcus' twisted face, I'm stunned back into my darkness as chaos explodes around me.
 
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    ASLEEP
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    CHAPTER 8
     
    MAY 11
     
     
     
     
      “Suzanne, its Kayla.  Wake up for me again, okay?  I want to talk to you for a minute.  I just need a minute and then I'll let you go back to sleep.  Please talk to me so I know you're really awake, and then you can go back to sleep, I promise.”
  Wow, how strange is that?  Who wakes someone up just to let them go back to sleep?  Why would I even bother?
  “Suzanne, I've been waiting a long time for you.  We all have.  Can you try to wake up again and look at me for a minute?  Marcus is gone, so you're safe now.  And Mack is on his way.  Mack should be here with Kayla in a few minutes.”
  Opening my eyes, I try to see through the haze, but everything is really bright.  It's like I'm blinded by sunlight.  I feel like my face is toward the sun on a hot day.  I feel like I can close my eyes and still see the dark shape of the round sun shining behind my eyelids.
  “Suzanne…” she whispers.
  Trying to blink away all the bright, I look closely at the blurry face in front of me.  Who is she?  And why the hell is she crying AND smiling?
  “God, Suzanne… welcome back.  You scared the shit out of me, and I'm trying not to yell at you here.  Well, not yet anyway.  I'll yell at you a little later, okay?”  Huh?
  Staring at this woman, I'm at a complete loss.  I don't know her, but she seems to know me.  What the hell is she talking about?  Why would she yell at me?  I haven't done anything wrong yet.
     
      “Suzanne, its Kayla.  Can you see me alright?  Can you try to speak to me?  The feeding tube was just removed, and the doctors are waiting outside to talk to you, but I wanted to talk to you first so you weren't scared.”
  What