Three Dirty Secrets (Blindfold Club #4) by Nikki Sloane Read Free Book Online

transfer paper was set against my scar, and the sponge swiped once more. He peeled the paper down, revealing his guide.
    “Be sure you want this,” he said, his gaze on the art. “Be sure you’re going to wake up in five years and still want this.”
    Five years. It was almost impossible to think that far ahead, given my job, but I felt more certain about this than anything else.
    “I’m sure.”
    His blue eyes flicked back to mine, and his expression was . . . pleased?
    “But I might cry like a little bitch,” I whispered, nervous.
    His laugh was warm. “I doubt it. Usually it’s the big guys who whine. Women? Their threshold’s higher, or they’re better at coping, because I don’t get complaints.”
    “Of course you don’t. You’re fucking hot.”
    Silas’s movements slowed as he opened the needle from the packaging.
    “Sorry,” I said. “Nervous ‘me’ gets really honest.”
    “Can’t say I mind.” When he finally seemed ready, he pulled a stool out from under the cabinet and sat, rolling up to me with the needle in hand, the cord trailing behind. A gloved hand braced itself on my shoulder, his forearm resting between my breasts. He was so comfortable getting close. Silas’s face was only a breath away from mine.
    Could he feel the tremble in my body? Just the proximity of the needle made my skin want to crawl away.
    “Ready?”
    “No,” I said. “Just do it.”

Chapter
    FIVE
    Silas pushed the button and the buzzing began. Every muscle in my body tensed. Oh God, oh God  . . .
    “Relax,” he whispered. “Deep breaths.”
    I took them through my clenched teeth. Sharp pain etched into me, like a fingernail scraping my skin off. Then, another. And another. I stared at him, watching every stroke of the needle and the concentration that creased his forehead.
    I sipped air in a hiss as he got deeper into the scar. It hurt. I bit down on my lip, trying not to show it. Pain, like fear, was weakness. It was a lifetime of endless scratches, each burning just a tiny bit more than the last, until I was about to break. I couldn’t do it anymore—
    Silas wiped a towel over the skin, giving me a temporary reprieve, just long enough to regroup. “I’d like to lodge a complaint,” I said.
    He almost looked amused. “I thought you said I was too hot for complaints.”
    “With that needle you’re just all right.”
    He smiled softly. I held my breath as he went back for more.
    “You need to keep breathing.” His voice was soothing. “When you’re tense it hurts more. And seeing you in pain subconsciously makes me want to rush.”
    He paused the needle and his gaze connected with mine. Whatever he was thinking about, I could tell instantly I wasn’t going to like it.
    “You could try talking. It’ll keep you from holding your breath.”
    I blinked, annoyed that he’d stopped. I just wanted this uncomfortable process over. “Talking,” I said. “About what?”
    “You could tell me about the bad memory.”
    The sexy fucker wasn’t playing fair. I broke his gaze and stared at the floor.
    “C’mon.” He squeezed my shoulder tenderly. “You’re letting me help you change the memory. I’d kind of like to know what it was.”
    I didn’t talk about it. Not with my family, or my handler Shane, and never with Matt. I’d only said what I needed to, what I thought the psych evaluator wanted to hear, to get me cleared for field work again.
    I was getting tired of people pushing me, but I’d always been stubborn. Shane had asked me to talk about it with someone; it didn’t seem like it mattered who. Confiding in a stranger had more appeal than someone I knew. Silas’s judgement could only last as long as I wanted to remain around him.
    Wasn’t I here because I wanted to let go?
    When I sighed, the blue eyes clouded with doubt. “Hey,” his voice was low, “I get you don’t want to talk about it, and it’s none of my fucking business—”
    “I got shot.”
    His lips pressed