Treasure Fever! by Andy Griffiths Read Free Book Online

History isn’t confined to thousands of years ago. It’s happening all the time!’
    â€˜How do you figure that?’ said Jack.
    â€˜Well,’ said Mr Brainfright, ‘what did you have for breakfast this morning?’
    â€˜Um . . . cornflakes,’ said Jack.
    â€˜That’s history!’ said Mr Brainfright.
    â€˜No it’s not,’ argued Jack. ‘It was just a bowl of cornflakes.’
    â€˜It’s still history,’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘It happened in the past and you’re not a boring old person who lived thousands of years ago.’
    â€˜Wow,’ said Jack. ‘So this morning I made history.’
    â€˜Not just you, Jack,’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘We
all
made history today. In fact, we are making history all the time. We couldn’t stop making history if we tried, because even if we tried to stop making history the very fact that we tried to stop making history would become the history that we were trying not to make.’
    Mr Brainfright paused, breathless with the excitement of his history-making speech.
    â€˜And not just this morning, either,’ he said. ‘Your whole lives have been full of historical moments—moments that have never existed on Earth in quite the same way before and never will again.’
    â€˜So when I cut my finger on the bread knife this morning,’ said Jenny, ‘that was history?’
    â€˜Yes!’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘History! Who else has a historical moment that they can share?’
    â€˜When my dad was helping me with my new chemistry set and we blew the roof off his workshop!’ said Grant.
    The class laughed.
    â€˜History again!’ said Mr Brainfright.
    I thought of Principal Greenbeard as a kid, hiding his treasure. That was history, too.
    â€˜Will we be tested on this, sir?’ said Fiona, who was furiously taking notes, just in case.
    â€˜Who can say what’s going to happen next?’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘I don’t know, but I can’t wait to find out! Does anybody else have any historical moments for us?’
    â€˜When I had a spider in my bedroom and my mum stood on a chair and tried to catch it in a glass but one of its legs was too long and it got cut off and fell onto the carpet and it
wriggled
,’ said Newton.
    The whole class let out a squeal of disgust.
    â€˜When you fell out the window yesterday during our “how to breathe” lesson,’ I said.
    â€˜Now that’s what I call history!’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘Who knows? In two thousand years students might be studying my fall out the window as part of their history class. They might even stage re-enactments!’
    â€˜Cool!’ said Jack. ‘I love re-enactments!’
    â€˜Me too!’ said Gretel.
    â€˜So do I,’ said Fiona, ‘as long as they’re historically accurate and not just an excuse to play dress-ups for the fun of it.’
    â€˜Life is an excuse to play dress-ups just for the fun of it, Fiona,’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘Hey, I’ve got a great idea. Why don’t we stage a re-enactment of yesterday’s fall right now? We’re all wearing historically accurate costumes. It will be just like going back in a time machine!’
    â€˜I don’t think that’s such a good idea,’ said David. ‘You could have been seriously injured yesterday.’
    â€˜But I wasn’t, was I?’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘Thanks to the quick thinking of the class. Okay, now where were we?’
    â€˜You were over by the window,’ said Fiona, reading from her notes.
    â€˜About here?’ said Mr Brainfright.
    â€˜A little bit more to the left,’ said Fiona.
    Mr Brainfright moved to the left. ‘Like so?’ he said.
    â€˜Yes,’ said Fiona. ‘And then you said, “But I don’t see why just breathing isn’t enough fun for you. I love breathing. The more fresh