Treasure Fever! by Andy Griffiths Read Free Book Online Page B

‘Why are we laughing, Mr Brainfright?’
    â€˜Why not laugh?’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘We might as well enjoy ourselves.’
    â€˜But we could die!’ said Gretel.
    â€˜All the more reason to enjoy ourselves while we still can!’ said Mr Brainfright.
    And then we fell.

21
Mr Spade

    We fell and fell and fell.
    We fell for what felt like a long time, but I now realise it was probably only about one second before we landed, all three of us, headfirst in the garden bed.
    I was the first to pull my head out of the soft dirt.
    The fact that all three of us had landed upside down in the garden bed did not escape the gardener’s attention.
    â€˜GET OUT OF MY GARDEN!’ yelled Mr Spade from the other side of the sports field.
    He was running towards us with a pitchfork in his hand.
    I pulled Gretel up out of the dirt.
    â€˜Quick, Gretel,’ I said. ‘We have to go. Give me a hand with Mr Brainfright!’
    Mr Brainfright’s head was still firmly planted in the soil.
    We pulled him out.
    Mr Brainfright shook the dirt from his head. He looked a little dazed, but all right.
    Mr Spade was close.
    â€˜Run!’ said Gretel.
    Nobody was laughing now.
    Hanging upside down from a second-storey window may have had its funny side, but there was nothing funny about the sight of Mr Spade’s pitchfork.
    Luckily, we were the faster runners.
    We made it around the building and back up the steps into the corridor before he could catch us.
    We entered the classroom to a huge cheer from the rest of the class.
    â€˜I can’t believe you’re still alive!’ said Jenny, throwing her arms around me.
    â€˜Me neither!’ I said.
    Suddenly there was yelling in the corridor.
    The door burst open.
    This time it wasn’t Mrs Cross.
    It was worse.
    It was Mr Spade!
    â€˜What do you mean by destroying my flowerbed?’ he yelled.
    â€˜We couldn’t help it,’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘We fell out the window and, well, there was nowhere else to land.’
    â€˜You fell out the window?’ growled Mr Spade, shaking his head. ‘How in the blazes do three people fall out a classroom window?’
    â€˜It was a historical re-enactment,’ I started to explain. ‘You see—’
    â€˜What is the meaning of all this shouting?’ said Mrs Cross, who had just come into the room. ‘I’m trying to teach a class!’
    â€˜Oh, hello, Mrs Cross,’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘We had a little accident.’
    â€˜They fell out the window!’ said Mr Spade. ‘Right into my freshly planted flowerbed.’
    â€˜Didn’t you fall out the window yesterday?’ said Mrs Cross.
    â€˜Yes,’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘As I said, just a little accident. Could have happened to anybody.’
    â€˜ONCE is an accident,’ said Mrs Cross. ‘TWICE is pure stupidity! In all my time at Northwest Southeast Central School I have never heard such a noisy, disruptive class as this one. Never!’
    Mr Brainfright had a big smile on his face.
    â€˜Did you hear that, 5C?’ he said. ‘We just made history—again!’
    â€˜You’ll be history, young man, if you can’t keep your class quiet,’ said Mrs Cross. ‘You mark my words.’
    And with that, she left the room, banging the door shut behind her.
    Mr Brainfright turned and winked at us. ‘I think she likes me!’ he said.
    â€˜Well, I don’t think she does,’ said Mr Spade, pointing his pitchfork at Mr Brainfright, and then at us. ‘And I don’t like you either. Keep out of my flowerbeds. Or else.’
    We all nodded.
    Mr Spade stomped off down the corridor.
    â€˜Well, Jack,’ said Mr Brainfright, ‘history’s not quite as boring as you thought, is it?’
    â€˜No, sir!’ said Jack, grinning.

22
Mr Brainfright’s important lesson no. 2

    History is not quite as boring as you might think.

23
Skull