Trusting Stone by Alexa Sinclaire Read Free Book Online Page A

handle being poor. She had never wanted for anything, ever. She had gone to the best schools, had the best vacations, the best wardrobe, everything had always been handed to her on a plate. She knew how to study hard and commit to things. If anyone knew how extensive her debutante training had been, they wouldn’t question her ability to work hard, but that was not the same as pinching pennies and going without. She never thought twice about what it might cost to do anything . She wasn’t excessively wasteful by any means, but she knew what she wanted, and after 22 years of behaving a certain way, she wasn’t sure she would be able to change the habits of a lifetime. Working hard for something and hard work were not synonymous, and she knew deep down she could only handle the latter.
    Dr. Shepherd had convinced her finally that she had to take one step at a time. It was unrealistic for her to reject the money and expect to establish independence and freedom from her family in one final swoop. She had to take baby steps. Using her trust fund money did not mean she couldn’t at some point in the future make  success for herself on her own terms. She could have a career based on merit instead of her father’s connections. She could have true independence. But trying to achieve all that did not mean she should simply turn her back on the money.
    He made her make a list of all the good things she had received from her parents—dedication, strong work ethic, a sense of pride. It was a hard list to make since Eden kept trying to add caveats to all of them—yes, she had learned a strong work ethic, but she had also seen her father sacrifice time with his family in order to make more money. He had also developed a nasty drinking habit and a slight gambling addiction. Yes, she had learned dedication, but to things she wasn’t sure were worthy of it. And yes, she had learned pride, but only by learning what shame was first.
    It took a few weeks, but Eden was finally able to write the list, accepting that these were traits she saw in herself that she felt were important to her. At the bottom of the list, he made her add “money.” She had cried in his office when he told her to write it. But she knew it was true. To reject the money would be reckless. To pretend that she wasn’t lucky to have this opportunity was borderline insane. She had left that day feeling drained, but more liberated that she had in months. She thought about Dr. Shepherd’s words whenever she started to feel guilt about spending the money. “ You can let the attack poison everything in your life. You can let what happened frame every experience you have for the rest of your life, making you doubt everything and everyone that comes into your life. Or you can begin to heal .”
    Those words had allowed her to get on the plane to Edinburgh.
    If only she could get Sebastian Stone out of her head!
    Eden had avoided washing her dress, and a few times, she had held it up to her face and breathed in the faint scent of his cologne that remained. It took her back to the town car—his hands in her hair, then caressing her breast and her thigh. She had felt his erection pressing up against her leg. God, she had wanted more. She had wanted him. Eden had never wanted any man. Not like this at least.
    Eden had enjoyed her make-out sessions with Joachim and there had been moments when she’d been mildly turned on. But it had never been a need or a real desire. After she and Joachim started dating, she had realized that what her girlfriends spoke about, the urges they described when trying to resist going all the way in the back of their boyfriends’ cars, didn’t match up with her own feelings. They always seemed so muted, dampened almost. She had started masturbating after that, just to reassure herself that she could actually orgasm. It was only in her senior year of high school, when she found out that several of her girlfriends weren’t actually able to orgasm