not?”
“I know Rob’s getting lucky. Ain’t no other reason a man waits seven years to pop the question.”
Lesley wiped a spot of sauce from the corner of her mouth. “Maybe he’s just careful.”
Shayna’s black hair swayed as she shook her head.
“Nah, men are all like that when it comes to getting hitched. And it’s not their fault. It’s Mother Nature. Every one of them is programmed to be a stallion, to think he ought to be out servicing a whole herd of us little fillies.”
“Oh, thanks. That makes me feel better.”
“But they can be trained out of it you know.”
Lesley shook her head. “God help the man who settles down with you. He won’t stand a chance.”
Shayna took a pull on her Coke and peered over the top of her glasses at Lesley.
“Don’t you worry about my men,” Shayna said. “Right now we need to figure out if Rob’s good enough to marry my number one girlfriend.”
“And how do you propose to do that?”
“We’ll use Shayna’s Test For A Good Man.”
“Oh, you have a test, do you?”
“Your mother didn’t give you one?”
“She must have forgotten.”
“Honestly,” Shayna said. “Sometimes I wonder how you white people survive long enough to reproduce.”
“We manage.”
Shayna pursed her lips and rubbed her chin for a few moments.
“It’s a multi-part test,” she said. “You ready?”
Lesley made a show of pushing aside her drink and napkins. She folded her hands on the table and looked directly at her friend.
“Shoot.”
“Has he ever bought you a gift when it wasn’t a special occasion?”
Lesley had to think about this one. “He brought me a bag of chocolate chip cookies once when I was freaking out over a sociology exam.”
Shayna raised one eyebrow. “Girl, that is totally underwhelming. But technically it’s a pass. I’ll give him a C-minus. Okay, question number two. Is there anything he doesn’t like to do, but he does it anyway because you want him to?”
“You’re saying a good man is one you can put under your thumb?”
“Nah, this just goes to the trainable aspect of the animal. Now answer the question.”
Lesley munched on a french fry as she tried to think of something. After a moment she said, “He’s been known to sit through an entire chick flick with me.”
“But only because you got to the theater and there was nothing on with guns in it, am I right?”
“Absolutely.”
“And I bet he bitched and complained so you’d know how lucky you were.”
“Oh yeah.”
Shayna nodded her head in apparent satisfaction. “Good. For a moment there I was worried he wasn’t male.”
“He is,” Lesley said. “I checked.”
Shayna’s voice dropped to a barely audible level. “Now for the most important part,” she said, her face grave. “Question number three. After you have a fight—” She pointed a finger. “And don’t even think about telling me that never happens. Now after you two claw each other’s eyes out, does he always apologize? Even if you were the one who was wrong?”
Lesley grinned again. “I don’t know about that, but I have to admit he’s pretty good at making up.”
“Oh, this is bad,” Shayna said.
“What?”
“He passed the test. You’re going to have to marry him.”
“Works for me.”
Shayna’s wide smile lit up her whole face. “Good. Now I can start planning how I’m going to embarrass your skinny ass at the stagette party.”
Lesley’s purse warbled with the sound that meant she had received a text message. She pulled out her cell phone and punched a button to bring up the message. The caller id said Private Number .
Go to the First Malden Bank right away. You’re going to find some angry customers. The bank lost their money.
* * *
Rob splashed water on his face and ran wet fingers through his hair in an effort to wake himself up. After toweling off, he returned to his cubicle and found a blank sheet of paper on the floor by his desk. He looked at it for a