me. I know that you’ve got my best interest at heart.” I swallow hard and press on.
“But Fey…trust me when I say this. You don’t know what I know. Whatever Robin found, whatever you’re worried over, that’s just one-tenth of the picture. Less than that. One hundredth.
“That’s why it’s so difficult for me to see things the way you do. I mean, I understand what it looks like from the outside. Especially when all you have to go on is Robin’s research and a few brief moments with me.
“But Fey, Jeremy and I…we have something special.” I wince inwardly. That’s not exactly a lie. He and I do have a very, very special relationship. But I want Fey to take it the way people usually mean it, and not the way I do now.
“We’ve connected. Bonded. Our lives are intertwined in more ways than I can say.” I hesitate again, mentally replaying my words.
“I know I’m blabbering. But I really hope you listen to this message to the end. I’ll tell you the truth.
“I spoke to him. About what…about what you told me. He did not deny it. In fact, he all but confirmed it. But that doesn’t change things between us.”
How can I explain this?
“He says he loves me, Fey. I haven’t said the words back, but I believe him. I think he actually, truly, means it when he says it to me.”
There. I’ve said it. In for a penny, in for a pound.
“So Fey—I’m not afraid. I know where I stand with him. I hope you can trust me enough to relieve your own worries. I don’t want you concerned. I want you to enjoy your final months of college. Do it with Robin. Do it for me. Because I know…” I sigh. “I know I’m never going back.”
I stop talking. I feel a single tear trail down my cheek.
“And Fey?” I add after a long, silent minute. “I’ll understand if you never want to speak to me again. I just hope that, one day, the friendship that we shared before will let us get past this. And if it doesn’t—if I never hear from you again—just say hi to your mom, and Robin, and Sonja for me. I haven’t forgotten about any of you. I do think of you as my sister. And sisters have falling outs, you know? But they also have ties as strong as blood. They’re what lets them reconcile their difference two, five, ten years down the road.
“Anyway. I’m not thinking that far now. I just hope that you return this phone call. And even if you don’t, I won’t blame you. I’ll just hold out hope for that long, happy reunion that might come a decade from now.”
I take another break. I need it. I feel like I’ve just poured my soul out to her.
And I’ve done it without once telling the truth.
“Fey?” I finish in a small voice. “I love you. Like a sister, I do. Bye.”
I hang up. Then, with a great, exhausted sigh, I fall back on the bed and close my eyes.
Chapter Eight
I bolt upright suddenly, awake and very, very alarmed. Something’s wrong.
I feel it. But as I look around the empty room, I see nothing that could cause alarm.
It’s still light outside, though the sun is obscured by a thin layer of clouds. That’s better than the storm we had all day yesterday.
I get up, check my phone for messages or calls from Fey. I see none, sigh, and head downstairs.
I find Rose in the kitchen, exactly where I told her to be, looking either bored or annoyed. In front of her is a single white mug.
“Your coffee,” she says thinly, gesturing to the cup. “Brewed a few hours ago, so it’s obviously cold.” She sounds testy.
“Don’t test me,” I warn. I sit across from her at the table. “Jeremy told you to make amends with me, didn’t he? You can start by explaining your behavior from before. You’ve had more than a week to consider it. I want the truth: What the hell happened?”
“What happened, ” she emphasizes, “was that I found an intruder in my home. My home , Miss Ryder, not my workplace. My home . Somebody whom I had no recollection of having invited in.”
“So