Undead and Unwed by MaryJanice Davidson Read Free Book Online Page A

just spend all that money—"
      "You're dead, I can't heeeeeeeeear youuuuuuu..."
      "—and not get anything ba—"
      "La la la la la la la la la !" Her hands were clapped over her ears and her eyes were squeezed shut.  
      I kicked her ankle, very very gently. "Fine, fine, fine! "  
      She opened her eyes and smiled at me, then bent and rubbed her ankle. "Good. And ouch! Besides, it's not a gift. You're not going to have much income coming in for a while, but you'll be ambushing bad guys at night—"
      "I haven't decided what I'm going to be doing at night."
      "--so it evens out," she finished with trademark stubbornness. "You shouldn't have to worry about house payments on top of everything else."
      "Well...thanks. I really don't know what to say. You're too good."
      I knew I should have fought her more for form's sake, but the fact was, Jessica could have paid off the homes of everyone we went to high school with, and still have about a billion dollars left over. It was stupid to protest when she had the bucks and the inclination. But I'd find a non-monetary way to make it up to her.
      Look her in the eyes and tell her to take your money , a treacherous inner voice whispered. It sounded alarmingly like my stepsmother. Make her bend.
      I shoved the thought away, horrified, and told myself it wouldn't work: Jessica was a woman, and had no interest in seeing what color underpants I had on.
      You can make her be interested.
      "No!"
      "What? Cracking up already? Heck, it's only 7:30. Way too early for hysterics." My phone started ringing. "I'll get it, dead girl...we better figure out the phones, too."
      A minute later, I was dressed and Jessica trotted back into my bedroom. "Your mom says howdy and to be careful fighting crime. Man , she's cool! If I came back from the dead, my mom'd still be in a rubber room. How'd it go last night?"
      "I didn't do anything!"
      "Huh? To your mom? I should hope not."
      "Oh. Right. Uh—she was incredibly cool about it. Very 'oh, you're a vampire, that's nice, dear, watch out for holy water'...like that. She was really really happy to see me, and beyond that, didn't give a fig for the details."
      "That's how I feel, too. Plus, I can't help it, I think it's so neat ."
      "Please. You sound like a cheerleader."
      "Well, I was one. Also, breakfast is served." She held out a glass. One whiff and I knew it wasn't brimming with V-8. There was a green leaf stuck artfully to the side of the glass, which had been chilled, and its rim had been dipped in coarse salt. "It's O negative...the universal drink."
      "You have garnished my glass of blood," I observed, "with basil and margarita salt."
      "Sure. This is no drive-thru McDonald’s blood. This is Aquavit blood. Manny's Steak House blood!"
      "Seriously. Where'd you get it?"
      "I'll never tell. But we should set up a mini-bank or something for you here, so you don't have to prowl alleys looking for a fix. I've got a guy working on that right now. He thinks I'm an eccentric heiress who's setting up her own blood storage in case of a national shortage." She tittered. "He's right, of course. Cheers!"
      I took the glass with all the enthusiasm I'd have shown if she was offering me a glass of pureed rattlesnake. The smell was making my head swim, and not in a good way. While Jess looked on, big-eyed, I took a tentative sip. It was like drinking a dead battery, fallen leaves, a candle that had burned down to nothing. That's what it tasted like: nothing. And that's what it was doing for me, too. I was just as thirsty as I was when I woke up ten minutes ago.
      I handed the glass back, shaking my head. "Nope. It's got to be live."
      Her face fell. "Nuts. So much for that plan. You really can't—uh—get nutrients out of it, or whatever? Metabolize it?"
      "It's like gulping down a vitamin and saying that's supper. You'd starve to death pretty quick. But thanks for going to all the trouble," I added, because