Undead and Unwed by MaryJanice Davidson Read Free Book Online Page B

she looked so crestfallen. I had to admit I was pretty disappointed myself. Now I'd have to hunt. I thought of Nick. Give him a call, why don't you? He'll be here in a heartbeat. Then I made the thought go away, fast.  
      The phone rang again, but I put up a hand to stop Jess from bounding back into the other room. "I'll get it. It's probably my dad, anyway. He's had a day to get over the shock." I walked into my living room, and saw that Jessica had thoughtfully unpacked the boxes and put my things back. She was an exhausting pal, and I was damned lucky to have her on my side. I would do well to keep that in mind. "Hello?"
      "Is this Elizabeth Taylor?"
      "Yes. And don't joke about my name; I've heard them all."
      "Elizabeth Taylor of one-two-one-five Ramsey Street?"
      I yawned, and covertly felt my teeth. Nope; fangless. "Yes, and I'm perfectly satisfied with my long distance service. Thanks anyway."
      "Why," the voice—male, sounded like he was in his early 20's—demanded, "are you answering the phone?"
      "Because it rang, dope. Now, I'm really very busy, so if—"
      "But you're dead!"
      I paused. How best to handle this? Who was this guy? Visa? The utilities company? "Don't believe everything you read," I said finally. "Also, the checks are in the mail, but since I just got laid off I'd like to make payment arrangements—"
      "You're a vampire and you're in your own house answering your phone?!? Get out of there!"
      I nearly dropped the phone. "A) How did you know that, and b) fat chance! Plus, the mortgage is paid off. I'm not going anywhere. Nighty-night."
      I hung up, but almost immediately the phone rang again. If a phone could ring angrily, mine was. Or maybe I was just picking up the emotions of the person on the other end. Either way, the phone practically jumped into my hand. "Hello?"
      " Why are you answering your phone?"
      "Because it keeps ringing!" Why why why didn't I get caller I.D. when I had the chance? "Now stop bugging me."
      "Wait! Don't hang up!"
      Like I would. Could this be another vampire? Even if he wasn't, he knew I was. Maybe he could tell me what's been going on, give me some pointers. Anything was better than spending the next ten years finding things out the hard way. "Well," I said coyly, "I'm very busy."
      "Look: come to the downtown Barnes and Noble...you know where that is?"
      "Sure." Hard not to; it took up an entire city block.
      "After you feed, meet me in the cookbook section..."
      "That's mean!" I protested.
      "Okay, fine, the humor section."
      "That's not much better," I grumbled. "And I don't have to feed. I'll just go right now."
      A long pause, so long I thought he'd hung up, when he practically whispered, "You don't need to feed? Have you had time this evening?"
      "It's no big deal. I can go a few days. What do you look like? How about a codeword? Or a super duper secret undead handshake we can use?"
      "Don't bother," he said, and he sounded incredibly rattled. "I know what you look like, Taylor. See you in an hour." Click.
      "Ooooh, now that sounds ominous." I hung up. Convincing Jessica I needed to meet a mysterious someone who knew I was dead—alone—wasn't going to be easy. Best to get it over with.
     
     
     
    CHAPTER TEN
     
      I love my cat. She's a pain in the ass, but she's dependable and has never once told me to change my shirt because I look like a crack whore in periwinkle blue. Heck, the whole reason I was in this fix was, in part, because of Giselle, but I hadn't gotten rid of her, or even snacked on her. I was definitely a cat person.
      Which was why it was unbelievably annoying to discover dogs find me irresistible. Before I woke up in the funeral home, I had ignored dogs, and they had ignored me, and we'd gone about our separate business. No longer.
      By the time I'd gotten out of my car and walked a block, nearly a dozen dogs were following me. They were relentless in their adoration. When I turned to