whenever battling a demon, as she called it. âFine.â
âFine, what?â
âIâll go. But only because I want to make sure youâre okay.â
I jumped up and down in excitement.
Later that day, we pulled up to the party in a beat-down Cadillac that was two seconds from breaking down. It belonged to Mike, a friend of ours from school. He agreed to let us ride with him to the party. I got out of the car feeling sexy. I had tied my shirt in the back to show off my stomach. I drew a little heart just above my waistline. I cut some old, tight-fitting jeans into some booty shorts and cleaned my gym shoes until they looked brand new. Momma had bought a knock-off Chanel purse, and it hung from my shoulder. Faith, on the other hand, had on an unflattering, long flowered dress, no makeup, and a bun. She didnât look fit for a party.
I headed to the door with Faith trailing shyly behind me. A few girls were on the side of us, walking up to the party. They all had their noses turned up at me. It made me smile; it meant I was doing something right.
I walked into the party and was greeted by loud music blasting from the speakers. Two dozen people were crowded into the living room, dancing; a few couples leaned against the wall, talking or making out; and a bunch of boys were drinking liquor and partying in the kitchen. I decided that was where I wanted to be.
âIâm going to the kitchen. Just sit on the couch or something,â I yelled to Faith over the music. I watched her hesitantly walk over to the couch and sit by a couple making out. I wanted to laugh at her expression.
I headed for the kitchen, glowing with confidence. I was looking good, my weave was flowing down my back, and my butt looked even bigger in the tight shorts. I noticed every head that turned in my direction. It was me they were looking at, not Faith. Me.
âWhatâs good, cutie?â one of the boys asked as I walked into the kitchen. He was the cutest one with long dreads and a bright grill. He looked like he had money. âWhat you drinkinâ on?â
âGive me whatever you got.â
The guys laughed. âSo if I give you one hundred proof liquor, youâd down it?â
I rolled my eyes. âLike I said, Iâll drink whatever you got.â
He smiled. âI like you already, sexy.â He poured me a shot of liquor. âDrink up.â
I took the glass from his hands and swallowed the liquor. I tried my hardest not to make a face as it burned down my throat. I slammed the shot down on the countertop. âGive me another one.â
His eyes widened as if impressed and gave his friends a look. âShorty mean!â
âAy, and she got a fatty!â one of the ugly ones called from behind me. I smiled and turned around for him to see.
âDang, they donât breed âem like this except down South. Thin waist, big butt, long hair . . . And I donât care if itâs weave! I bet Iâll still pull on it,â he said to his friends, who agreed in unison. He handed me my second shot.
I stared deeply into his dark eyes and slowly raised the shot glass to my lips. I wanted to play with him, keep him watching my every move, make him want me. He licked his lips and the liquor went down. I looked around, noticing that they were all looking at me like they wanted to devour me. It made me feel so good.
âOh!â I said, recognizing the song that came on. âThis is my jam! Come dance with me!â I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the living room. I noticed I was slightly off balance, but I felt good inside. I had no worries.
I started grinding on him slowly and built my way up into the beat. I grabbed his arms and wrapped them around my waist. I glanced over at Faith; her look was of pure disapproval, which was normal for her. Nothing I did was up to her âChristianâ expectations. But I didnât live to please her or my mother at that