Unidentified Funny Objects 2 by Robert Silverberg, Jim C. Hines, Jody Lynn Nye, Mike Resnick, Ken Liu, Tim Pratt, Esther Frisner Read Free Book Online Page B

you the benefit of the doubt here. I will assume this was all a simple mistake on your part, and that you did not intend to defraud me. If I melt it down, I may even be able to get some use out of this cheap facsimile. As such, I am prepared to keep the item "as is" in exchange for a 50% refund. We can call it a day with no feelings hurt, no spells cast, and no negative feedback left on anyone's profile. I think this is quite reasonable. What say you, sir?
    ~ Vaenala

    From: Kobe Thompson
    To: Vaenala the Unbound
    Subject: RE: this will not suffice
    Um im pretty sure item was listed as replica like new without wrapping but will issue small refund if thats what u prefer i guess

    From: Vaenala the Unbound
    To: Kobe Thompson
    Subject: RE: RE: this will not suffice
    Mr. Thompson,
    I told you I was willing to be reasonable about this, but if you're going to insult my intelligence further, we can put a stop to this little mummer's show right now. While your message doesn't inspire much confidence that you are fluent in the common tongue, I assume you can at least read the words that you wrote in your own auction listing. For your convenience, I'll paste the entire description here:
    LOST BLADE OF CRAGTHOR—GENUINE!!!
    Very hard to find one of a kind from cragthr who killed teh demons at seleros and still has there blood on it!! feel a power as you hold this mighty sword!!1! happy bidding this is a steal come on
    As you can see, the word "replica" appears nowhere in this description. You have the word "genuine" in the title, for hell's sake! I will admit your reference to Seleros should have tipped me off, as Cragthor never visited the lower wastes, to my knowledge. But that doesn't give you the right to defraud me. At least common brigands have the stones to take up arms when they want to rob you of something. While I might have flayed you alive had you gone that route, you'd at least have a slither of respect about you, if not honor.
    Now, you claim your intent to issue a "small" refund. But I've been very clear about what I expect from you if you wish a civil end to this little palaver. You will refund half my gold, sir, and not a sovereign less. If I have not received such from you within a fortnight, I shall take this up with a higher power. What follows, I wash my hands of.
    ~ Vaenala

    From: Kobe Thompson
    To: Vaenala the Unbound
    Subject: RE: RE: RE: this will not suffice
    lol whatever

    From: Bid-o-Mancy Customer Support
    To: Vaenala the Unbound
    Subject: RE: Item Not As Described (AUTOMATED REPLY)
    Dear Ms. The Unbound,
    Thank you for contacting Bid-o-Mancy customer support with your issue. We're sorry there was a problem with your transaction. When you filled out our correspondence form, you indicated that item #931179, "LOST BLADE OF CRAGTHOR—GENUINE!!!" did not arrive in the condition described by the seller on the auction listing. Before we escalate this case to our resolution center, we'd like to ask a few questions about your transaction:
    Have you double-checked the auction listing to ensure you're not mistaken about the item's description? We've found that some users commonly mistake the "Like New" category for the "Brand New" category.
    Have you contacted the seller about your problem? We prefer to give our members a chance to resolve things on their own before we arbitrate a dispute.
    If you have, was the seller responsive?
    Please reply at your convenience. Your case will be assigned a customer support representative from there. We apologize for any inconvenience you have suffered, and we hope to resolve your issue as soon as possible.
    Thank you,
    Bid-o-Mancy Customer Support
    Twice Awarded "Best in Customer Service for the Dark Arts" by Yrrgoth and Associates

    From: Vaenala the Unbound
    To: