walked to the gate and looked out, running my eyes up and down each side of the street. The cement sidewalks seemed so clean and white in the glare of the sun.
âNobody is out there.â
âMilush and Vali probably walked to the park to play in the shade. Why donât you and Iboya go and join them,â Mother offered.
I shook my head. I did not want to see my friends yet, and I walked inside, into the childrenâs room, where Lilli was putting my clothes away.
âHave you and Manci come to live with us?â I asked.
âNo, I still have the apartment, but we do sleep over occasionally. Why, whatâs the matter?â
âI was just wondering. I was away for a long time,â I said, not wanting her to see my fear of things having changed while I was away.
Late in the afternoon, while Iboya and I were sitting on the porch, Milush and Vali came through the gate. They were in their bathing suits, on the way back from the strand. They walked toward us hesitantly.
â Szervusz, szervusz, we came to see if you were home,â they greeted me.
We were all talking busily when Mother came out with a pitcher of raspberry punch. âIsnât your mother coming over?â she asked Vali.
âIâll go and get her,â said Vali, running off. Soon Mrs. Veligan appeared, with Vali alongside her.
âYou should have come along, Mrs. Davidowitz, it was not at all crowded,â Mrs. Veligan said as she stepped onto the porch. âYou could do with a little sun. Look how nice your girls look with their brown faces. My God, Piri! You look so tall. Stand up so I can see you.â She pushed Vali and me into a back-to-back position. âSee, she has grown half a head. It is that country air, and I bet your grandmother fed you lots of milk and eggs. Nothing like that for growing children. You canât get much of that here any more. Getting more scarce all the time.â
Lilli, closing her book, came to join us, with Manci and Sandor trailing behind her. Mother poured the punch into glasses and handed them around. As we stood there, I felt relieved, relaxing for the first time in that whole long day. I was home in Beregszász.
7
W HEN SCHOOL BEGAN in September, life resumed its routine for Iboya and me. Politics seemed remote from us all as we were kept busy with our studies in school and with our chores and projects at home. Lilli was still at our house most of the time; she and Mother read and wrote their postcards together. I never had to ask whether or not they had received mail from Father or Lajos; their voices and expressions told me as soon as I came into the house. Rozsi wrote to us often to keep Mother from worrying about her and Babi. Frequent letters from Molcha told me about her progress in school and the local gossip.
Winter arrived just before Christmas vacation, and snow covered the streets of Beregszász. We had to use both coal and wood in our classroom stove in order to melt the frost on the large windowpanes. During the holidays, not having school to absorb my thoughts, I became more aware of Fatherâs absence. Hanukkah did not seem the same without him.
Mother stayed in a bad mood for days, did not say silly things to make us laugh or sing, but only spoke to us when she had something to tell us. We stopped turning on the radio because they had suspended newscasts, playing only sermons and Christmas carols. Mother tried to go through the rituals of Hanukkah and lit the candles the first few nights, giving us the customary treats. But, without Father, we could not sing the traditional songs and we gave up lighting the candles and playing dreidel games before the holiday was over.
Milush and Vali came by early on Christmas Eve and entered our kitchen flushed with excitement over their holiday. âWe came to call for you. The carolers are down the street.â
Iboya and I looked toward Mother, but she shook her head no.
âWe canât go