Vanity by Lucy Lord Read Free Book Online Page A

three years ago but had yet to hit the big time Stateside. Possibly on account of a weak chin and a slightly-too-large nose that she’d refused to get fixed, vainly (and stupidly) thinking her work as a ‘serious actress’ rendered such measures unnecessary. ‘We don’t want you to start saying “Lie-sesster Square”!’
    Everyone cracked up, and Ben pretended to too, but inside he was thinking,
If you don’t like it here, then why don’t you fuck off back to London?
He was growing a little tired of his fellow ex-pats, with their twee insistence on tea parties, and Sunday roasts, when it was far too hot to eat anything other than the innovatively healthy (and surprisingly delicious ) fresh produce on offer locally. These people would have been the first to sneer at Brits in Benidorm demanding the full English breakfast, so why the fuck did they think it was OK in LA?
    They were sitting on the roof terrace, underneath a silvery olive tree, drinking vodkatinis. Ben swivelled his head to take in the 360-degree view. LA at night sprawled, glittering and full of promise, beneath and all around him. Somewhere to his right, the gated mansions of Beverly Hills beckoned, in all their opulent splendour.
One day …
    â€˜Two nations, divided by a common language!’ Julia guffawed, and tried to sit on his lap, but even though she’d lost the Brit blubber and was now the requisite size two, she represented the weight of his past, and he wanted her off him. He got up, nearly sending her flying, and said, ‘I’ve got to get an early night. Big day the day after tomorrow. ’Bye guys! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!’
    Julia looked offended, as well she might. She had been his first contact in LA (they’d been at RADA together), and he’d shagged her to get in with the ex-pat crowd.
    As he walked out into the jasmine-scented summer night air, he heard Julia saying, ‘I do hope he’s not going to get too big for his boots now.’
    Outside, he lit an illicit fag. He still wasn’t quite sure why fags and booze were so frowned upon in California when dope was legal, but he was willing to toe the line most of the time when so much was at stake. As he put his lighter back in his jeans pocket, he felt a piece of card and took it out.
    Jennifer Jackson. Nutritionist and personal trainer.
    He recalled the girl with the dreadlocks, smile and fantastic arse. Now, she would be a way forward. He’d had enough of his previous life and the no-hoper Brits weighing him down. He thought for a second, then took out his phone and dialled the number on the card.
    â€˜Who is it?’ A very cross-sounding voice eventually answered.
    â€˜Hi, Jenny, it’s Ben. We met on the beach today—’
    â€˜Oh, for God’s sakes. Don’t you know what time it is? If you want to talk about training, call me in the morning.’
    And she put the phone down on him. Ben wasn’t sure that any woman had done that to him in his life before. He rather liked it.
    â€˜Jenny, hi, it’s Ben. We met on the beach yesterday.’ He put on his poshest RADA accent.
    â€˜Oh my. The Brit who woke me up at midnight?’
    Ben chuckled in what he hoped was an endearing manner.
    â€˜Mea culpa, I’m afraid.’
    â€˜Well, I hope you’ll make it worth my while.’ She sounded crosser than ever. ‘I only had four hours’ sleep because of you. I was training Tom Hanks at five a.m.’
    â€˜Oh, fuck, I’m so sorry,’ said Ben. ‘Tom Hanks, really?’
    â€˜Of course I wasn’t training Tom Hanks, you British idiot. Do ya think I’d be handing out my card on the beach if I was Tom Hanks’s trainer?’
    Ben laughed sheepishly.
    â€˜No, I suppose not.’
    â€˜So, d’ya want me to train you, or are you just gonna annoy me with late-night calls? Your abs could do with some work. But it’ll