Warped by Alicia Taylor Read Free Book Online Page A

glowing with concern. I can’t help the tear that escapes, as he gently rubs my back in soothing circles.
    “Talk to me, Ella. Please.” He waits while I control my emotions.
    “I’m sorry. It’s all just too much. I feel like everything is happening so quickly. I didn’t expect this.” I tell him honestly, trying to turn my head away. Damon holds my face steady though, refusing to let me look away. “I didn’t expect us to be like this and now with the...” I stop myself in time before I say baby. Taking a deep breath I continue, “Engagement, I feel like I’m drowning.”
    Damon continues to rub my back. It’s comforting so I lean my head against his chest and we stay like that for a moment before he speaks.
    “I’m sorry. I know this has happened quickly, and I didn’t expect this either Ella. I didn’t expect to love you like I do.”
    My heart contracts at his words. I want to believe them more than anything but then I think of what he did to Lydia, and my feelings are unsure again. Is it all a game? Thinking of him kissing Leona, and playing me, my heart almost breaks. I feel weak.
    Defenceless.
    All my plans changed, each day my hate diminished, and some days I even forgot why I was doing what I was doing.
    It’s then I realise I don’t hate Damon.
    I hate myself for loving him. 
    I reach up and move my mouth to his, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. I don’t want to say anything because I’m not sure I know how I feel yet. I can’t say the words he wants to hear. I have never said the words he wants to hear. 
    In the past when a guy told me he loved me I never said it back. I instigated sex, I used them. Men have this weird notion that when a woman has sex it’s a sign of love, but it’s not. It’s a sign of fucking, or for me, manipulation.
    I have always used sex as a weapon, a gain, a manoeuvre towards getting everything I want. I can make a guy promise me the world while my lips are around his cock. It was mine for the taking, but I never lost focus. My whole reason for continuing to live was to get to Damon.
    I never made love until last night. The way Damon was so gentle with me, protecting me, felt good. It felt natural. It was perfect.
    Now sitting here with him like this, I don’t want to fuck, I want the real thing. I want this to work. I want him to want me more than anything or anyone else in the world, and not for any other reason than because he makes me feel safe.
    But it’s wrong to want this. I need some distance, need to think. I feel so erratic. One minute I hate him, the next I don’t. I want him to kiss me, then I hate myself for wanting him so much. How did I let this happen?
    I can feel myself getting upset again so I push Damon away and stand up, moving away from him as he reaches for me.
    “I need to take a shower. Please give your mum my number so we can arrange something. I’m sorry Damon I just need to think. Please just give me some space to think.” The look in his eyes kills me. I feel like I’m tearing myself in half trying to figure it out, and no matter how much I want to throw myself back into his arms, I turn on my heel and head for my room.
    When I get to my room I feel exhausted. I just want to sleep, but I really need to get to work on the emails Spencer sent me. He wanted me to look over his new plans for his business.
    Pulling out my laptop I start to read through my notes on what I think he can do differently that will save him some money. I love his idea, however some of it will not be possible. He wants the whole hotel to be able to be hired out and decorated as the customer wishes, but to do that each time will cost a fortune, more than what I think will be financially feasible.
    What I am suggesting is that he sections the hotel off. He has four main themes that can be adapted to what the customer wants. This will also allow a quicker turn around. By making sure that one section is as the customer wishes will allow other staff members to