Warped by Alicia Taylor Read Free Book Online Page B

focus on another area, allowing two events at the same time, or even run night after night.
    It takes me about two hours to finish what I’m proposing. I hit send on the email to Spence, and close my laptop. Looking at my watch I realise it’s nearly lunchtime. The house has been pretty quiet so I presume Damon has gone to work.
    Moving to the kitchen I make myself a sandwich. I pull out my phone and notice I have a text message from Spencer saying “thanks” with a smiley face. It makes me smile. I have grown attached to him, and he’s so easy to talk to. I reply before sending Damon a message.
    Hey, I don’t fancy cooking tonight. Do you fancy a takeout and a movie? My treat.
    I hit send and place my phone on the table while I eat my sandwich. My phone beeps with an incoming text.
    Demon: I thought you wanted space? I have made plans. I can change them.
    No it’s ok, don’t worry about it. Enjoy your evening. Who are your plans with?
    It takes longer than I thought for the reply to come through and when it does I feel sick to my stomach.
    Demon: Just a few friends but I can come back if you want? I don’t need to be there. I was just trying to do as you asked, Ella.
    It’s fine. Have a good evening.
    I throw my phone down on the table, ignoring it as it beeps again. Picking up my sandwich I collect my bag and move outside. It’s actually a really nice day so I sit on the patio, on a really comfy looking chair that is as big as my bed. It’s covered in pillows with a canopy above and there are curtains that can be closed for privacy.
    I try to relax but my mind keeps drifting to Damon and his plans for the evening. Who is he going out with? He was vague in his answer. Friends he said. That could be Leona.
    Jealousy burns inside me. Hate coils tight in my veins. I hate these emotions. I hate myself for feeling jealous. I’m weak. Damon breaks me.
    He was going to cancel his plans for me though. That has to mean something right? He was just doing as I asked. He was just trying to give me time to think, giving me space.
    My head is all over the place. I need this time to decide my future. To decide Damon’s fate.
    I lean over to rummage in my bag for Lydia’s diary. That always makes me think clearly.
     
    April 15th 2011
    Damon wants me back!!
    I knew he still loves me. I knew he wouldn’t be able to stay away too long. When I got his text message asking me to meet tonight for food and to dress nice for him I felt like I could finally breathe again.
    I’M GOING OUT WITH DAMON!!!
    I’m so excited. It’s been too long since he held me, since he made love to me.
    I can’t wait for him to love me again.
     
    Lydia was someone to love. There were so many things to love about her. She deserved love. Unlike me. I don’t deserve to be loved. I can’t be loved.
    Tears flow freely down my cheeks. I know what comes next. I know the pain I’m going to feel at Lydia’s next words but I can’t stop myself from turning the page and reading her next entry.
     
    April 16th 2011
    It was a joke. He tricked me. Fucking made a joke of me.
    I turned up and he was there with another woman. He made a scene and got me kicked out. He told me I need to stay away from him.
    Why does he keep hurting me? What have I done to deserve his anger? My heart hurts.
    I’m broken.
    I don’t know if I can keep playing these games with Damon. I just need him to love me the right way. Leona told me that he’s just trying to see how much I love him. How much I need him. I can’t show him any more than I already am. Do I have to beg?
    I will. I fucking will beg him of that’s what it takes.
    I don’t want to be apart any longer. I need him. He needs me. I won’t be apart from him. I’ll make him see how much I love him. I’ll do whatever it takes for him to believe me.
     
    The pain she went through hurts me but not as much as what I’m feeling now does. I just want to shut everything down. Just numb my emotions.
    I lay down for a few