Watch How We Walk by Jennifer LoveGrove Read Free Book Online Page A

does. It does. Not just in the big cities, but in our towns and rural areas too. Temptation lurks in fashion and advertising, in PG-rated films, in Satanic heavy metal music. We must avoid these things completely, entirely, with our whole bodies and minds, and keep the demons of immorality at bay. And pray, we must pray . . .
    It’s as though he is speaking through his long nose, and Emily can’t concentrate on his words, only their shrill, nasal sound. That and the smells of the Hall. She wishes they could open a window — so much perfume, hairspray, aftershave — she can hardly breathe. Outside, it’s already very dark and the wind howls at the windows and she shivers and wishes she’d brought a sweater. She twists in her seat to check the time. There is still over an hour left of the meeting, and Brother Bulchinsky keeps on whining and bobbing at the waist over the podium.
    â€” Pay attention! Emily massages her forearm where her father elbowed her, and rubs her hands together to keep warm.
    â€” They are very real, brothers and sisters, and they are always watching us, waiting for us to become weak, to sin, that they might slip in and take over our bodies and minds.
    Brother Bulchinsky is talking about modesty now, and avoiding not only sins of the flesh but even thoughts of such transgressions. He is still hunched over, a reflection of the microphone stand bent in front of him. Emily thinks it’s funny and tries to draw it but it doesn’t turn out the same at all. She doodles a safety pin instead. Brother Bulchinsky’s alter ego .
    Emily doesn’t know what Lenora meant about starting over. Is she one person at school and a different one at home and at the Hall? Emily looks two seats down at her sister. She wears the black felt hat with white stitching — called a cloche — that Uncle Tyler gave her last month. She’s staring straight ahead, listening to the talk, following along with the scripture. Lenora looks like her sister, the same as she always does. She doesn’t look like a worldly person, like someone who would smoke and swear and hang around with boys in leather jackets and girls in black lipstick.
    Brother Bulchinsky asks for a volunteer to read a scripture aloud for the congregation, and Lenora’s hand shoots up. He chooses her, and Uncle Tyler brings the microphone over. It’s his turn to stride up and down the aisles with the microphone during the question and answer segments. Lenora clears her throat, pauses, then reads the scripture clearly, without stumbling over any words.
    Their father smiles his approval, and Brother Bulchinsky thanks her. Emily wonders if she has imagined Lenora’s recent swearing.
    Fuck you, loser!
    What a bitch.
    Was it some sort of test to see if Emily would tell on her? Or does she talk that way all the time at school and it just slipped out at home? What a bitch . It’s stuck, like a song on the radio that she can’t get out of her head.
    What a bitch what a bitch what a bitch what a bitch what a bitch. She scrunches her eyes shut What a bitch what a bitch what a bitch what a bitch and feels like everyone can hear her and what if having a swear word stuck in your head is enough to get you demonized? She tries to focus on what Brother Bulchinsky is saying about abstaining from fornication, but the words all blur into one monotonous drone and her head is so heavy she can’t hold it up anymore and she slumps forward into sleep.

9

    EMILY TUGS ON HER BOOTS and big puffy blue coat and plods to the front entrance to wait for Lenora after school. In the morning, the wind kept pushing against her chest and she had almost been late, and the air was full of sharp, angry bits of snow. Emily is relieved that the sun is back out and the wind has moved on to torment others. She thinks about what books she’ll read over the weekend and wonders if she’ll have to go out in service on Saturday and