Welcome to My Jungle by Craig Duswalt Read Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Craig Duswalt
elevator, got down to the lobby, ran to her car in the parking lot, and raced toward the airport.
And get this … because we had been to so many places, and because I didn’t have my briefcase, and because the itinerary was in my briefcase, I had no idea what city we were going to next. It could have been anywhere in the United States.
So I asked her to really speed it up. The cars had left about twenty-five minutes before we did, so I figured we could catch them. They still had to load the plane. Unfortunately, I knew what was happening—they were going as fast as humanly possible, because they wanted to leave someone behind. Again, they loved playing pranks.
We arrived at the airport, but there was another problem. Our plane was loading on the tarmac that night, so no one was going through the airport. The only cars allowed on the tarmac were the limos. Plus, even if I had clearance, I wouldn’t have known where to begin looking for the gate or the opening where a car could get onto a tarmac.
I imagined the guys cracking up while loading the plane—loading the plane faster than it’s ever been loaded.
We drove to where we could see the planes. It was a little off course but I figured our plane would be away from the normal area of the airport.
And there in the distance, way in the distance, I saw the MGM Grand . But there was a really tall security fence between it and me. But at least the plane was on the ground, so there was still hope.
We drove all around the perimeter of that fence, looking for any opening that would fit a car. I figured, even if I got in trouble for driving on the tarmac, the band would explain who I was, and they would let me go.
Maybe.
In the world we live in today that would not be possible, but in the early 90s, there was no TSA.
We continued to drive, and suddenly I saw two limos driving into the airport. Could it be? I thought. We beat them here?
I knew we had driven fast, but not that fast.
We raced over to the limos to cut them off.
Again I thought that I was so fortunate that Axl didn’t see any of this. And Doug, he would not have appreciated my being late, and even worse, he didn’t like when the members of the entourage drank, because we always had to be alert, just in case.
We pulled up to the limo, and I quickly thanked my lady friend, and hopped out of her car. I ran to the back passenger seat of the limo, opened the door, and jumped in.
Right onto Axl’s lap.
I looked up and smiled, and gingerly took the unoccupied seat across from Axl. To make matters worse, there was Doug sitting next to Axl.
The cars that had taken the band and the entourage to the airport, the cars I was supposed to be in, were already at the plane. These limos were taking Axl, Doug, and a few others back from the U2 concert.
Oops.
Axl smirked.
But Doug laid into me.
He pinched his thumb and his index finger together and said, “I have this much respect for people who drink and get drunk.”
That night changed my life.
Literally.
Axl was very cool about it. In fact, he laughed about it on the plane and told me not to worry about it. But Doug was my buddy from Air Supply, and I was hired because I wasn’t “that guy.” And I let him down.
But it was a blessing. I slowed down my drinking a lot for the rest of the tour, and when we got off the road, after the tour was over, after one or two more binges with Natasha, I remembered what Doug said that night. And in 1994, my wife and I quit drinking.
We haven’t had a drink since.
I did not have an “official” drinking problem, but I’m sure it could have easily headed that way. I mean, come on, I was on tour with Guns N’ Roses. That could have gone so bad. But it didn’t.
That night changed my thinking, and I am fully convinced that my wife and I are successful today because we don’t drink. We wake up every day, sharp, ready to conquer the day. And we feel great.
We think about having a glass of wine again, someday, and
And get this … because we had been to so many places, and because I didn’t have my briefcase, and because the itinerary was in my briefcase, I had no idea what city we were going to next. It could have been anywhere in the United States.
So I asked her to really speed it up. The cars had left about twenty-five minutes before we did, so I figured we could catch them. They still had to load the plane. Unfortunately, I knew what was happening—they were going as fast as humanly possible, because they wanted to leave someone behind. Again, they loved playing pranks.
We arrived at the airport, but there was another problem. Our plane was loading on the tarmac that night, so no one was going through the airport. The only cars allowed on the tarmac were the limos. Plus, even if I had clearance, I wouldn’t have known where to begin looking for the gate or the opening where a car could get onto a tarmac.
I imagined the guys cracking up while loading the plane—loading the plane faster than it’s ever been loaded.
We drove to where we could see the planes. It was a little off course but I figured our plane would be away from the normal area of the airport.
And there in the distance, way in the distance, I saw the MGM Grand . But there was a really tall security fence between it and me. But at least the plane was on the ground, so there was still hope.
We drove all around the perimeter of that fence, looking for any opening that would fit a car. I figured, even if I got in trouble for driving on the tarmac, the band would explain who I was, and they would let me go.
Maybe.
In the world we live in today that would not be possible, but in the early 90s, there was no TSA.
We continued to drive, and suddenly I saw two limos driving into the airport. Could it be? I thought. We beat them here?
I knew we had driven fast, but not that fast.
We raced over to the limos to cut them off.
Again I thought that I was so fortunate that Axl didn’t see any of this. And Doug, he would not have appreciated my being late, and even worse, he didn’t like when the members of the entourage drank, because we always had to be alert, just in case.
We pulled up to the limo, and I quickly thanked my lady friend, and hopped out of her car. I ran to the back passenger seat of the limo, opened the door, and jumped in.
Right onto Axl’s lap.
I looked up and smiled, and gingerly took the unoccupied seat across from Axl. To make matters worse, there was Doug sitting next to Axl.
The cars that had taken the band and the entourage to the airport, the cars I was supposed to be in, were already at the plane. These limos were taking Axl, Doug, and a few others back from the U2 concert.
Oops.
Axl smirked.
But Doug laid into me.
He pinched his thumb and his index finger together and said, “I have this much respect for people who drink and get drunk.”
That night changed my life.
Literally.
Axl was very cool about it. In fact, he laughed about it on the plane and told me not to worry about it. But Doug was my buddy from Air Supply, and I was hired because I wasn’t “that guy.” And I let him down.
But it was a blessing. I slowed down my drinking a lot for the rest of the tour, and when we got off the road, after the tour was over, after one or two more binges with Natasha, I remembered what Doug said that night. And in 1994, my wife and I quit drinking.
We haven’t had a drink since.
I did not have an “official” drinking problem, but I’m sure it could have easily headed that way. I mean, come on, I was on tour with Guns N’ Roses. That could have gone so bad. But it didn’t.
That night changed my thinking, and I am fully convinced that my wife and I are successful today because we don’t drink. We wake up every day, sharp, ready to conquer the day. And we feel great.
We think about having a glass of wine again, someday, and
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