it?â
âMrs. Metzger and Mr. Von?â Haley tried to take in this news. Nora Metzger was Dave Metzgerâs mother. Dave Metzger was Annie Armstrongâs boyfriend. Mrs. Metzger was pretty much the most neurotic and uptight person Haley had ever met. She saw danger everywhere and had Dave convinced he was allergic to just about everything under the sun. She would have kept him in a bubble if she could. She was the last person Haley would imagine getting serious with anyone, much less the eccentric loosey goosey Rick Von, with his rumpled clothes, stubbly beard, whispery rasp of a voice and oddly lopsided walk.
On the other hand, maybe they made a weird kind of sense as a couple. They were both oddballs; at least they had that in common.
âSo wait,â Alex said. âYouâre saying they moved in together? So that means Dave Metzger is . . . living in Mr. Vonâs house now?â
Joan nodded. âBlythe told me that Annieâs been over to visit several times.â
âI canât believe Annie hasnât told us about this yet,â Haley said.
âYou know Annie and her obessions,â Alex said. âRight now sheâs so obsessed with saving the planet that she sometimes forgets to go to the bathroom.â
âApparently the house is very rustic,â Joan said. âFull of fascinating antiques and relics from the sixties.â
Haley tried to imagine the household: Dave Metzger, nervous, sweaty, breaking out in hives at even the thought of strawberries, blueberries, apples, shellfish, regular fish, milk, all dairy productsâin fact, pretty much anything but rice cakesâholed up in his new bedroom in Mr. Vonâs cobweb-filled house, taping his podcast, âInside Hillsdale,â and spouting his bizarre conspiracy theories while his mother and Mr. Von made out or whatever downstairs. How would Mr. Von treat Dave at school? Would he act all fatherly or pretend nothing had changed?
Haley looked at her own mother and shuddered. Thank God her parents were still married. Thereâd been plenty of strange parental pairings in Hillsdale over the past year or so, some of them not so bad, like Sasha Lewisâs father and Whitney Kleinâs mother. But a few of them struck Haley as crimes against nature. She couldnât imagine having to move in with one of her teachersâespecially Mr. Von.
âSo what did you think of Perryâs movie so far?â Joan asked Alex, mercifully changing the subject.
âImpressive,â Alex said. âAnd a little scary. I have to admit he makes a good case.â
Haley smiled at him. âSo youâre going to rethink your whole global-warming-is-a-myth stance? Maybe forget about the club? Maybe even join Planet Please?â
âI didnât say that,â Alex said, grinning wryly.
Has Haley worked her magic on Alex and his anti-environmental views? Results inconclusive. But there are hopeful signs. It was good of her to try, anyway. But even the fate of the Cape May warbler is easily trumped by local gossip like Joanâsâno wonder Haley and Alex were distracted.
Dave Metzger, Mrs. Metzger and Mr. Von together in the same house? It boggles the mind.
Haley has a good imagination, but even she canât quite picture it. To send her chez Von to see the weird menagerie for herself, go to ( GARAGE BANDWIDTH ). Dave is sure to be video-podcasting, and thatâs usually an event in itself.
So how are things going with Alex? Frankly, itâs hard to tell. Do you think heâs too conservative for Haley and that sheâll never change him no matter how much film footage Perry shows him? Maybe she and Alex just donât have the right chemistry. But if they donât, whose molecules do have Haleyâs atomic number?
If you think Haleyâs still daydreaming about Devon McKnight go to ( TAKE THE LEAD ).
Maybe you think Haley should forget about Dave and Devon and leave her
Jessica Clare, Jen Frederick